Joke and Humor Collections

A man was walking on the beach one day
and
he found a bottle half buried in the sand. He decided to open it.

Inside was a genie. The genie said," I will grant you three wishes and

three wishes only." The man thought about his first wish and decided,

"I think I want 1 million dollars transferred to a Swiss bank
account.
Category: More Jokes - 0 Comments

What
happened when Dr Frankenstein
swallowed some uranium?
He got atomic ache.
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A group of people were in a shipwreck and were stranded on an island.The group consisted of 12 women and 1 man. After a few months, the women grew horny and it was decided that the man needed to take two women a day and they allowed him to have Sundays off.One day on a day off, he was just relaxing when he noticed a boat nearing.
Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments

A couple, age 67, went to the doctor's office. The doctor asked, "What canI do for you?"The man said, "Will you watch us have sexual intercourse?"The doctor looked puzzled, but agreed. When the couple finished, the doctorsaid, "There is nothing wrong with the way you have intercourse." And hethen charged them $32.00.
Category: Elderly - 0 Comments

Two flies were on a cornflakes packet. "Why are

we running so fast?" asked one.
"Because," said the second, "it
says 'tear along the dotted
line'!"
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Q: Why should blondes not be given coffee breaks?A: It takes too long to retrain them.
Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments

What is small, furry and smells like bacon?
A
hamster.
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Did you hear about the idiot who filled
out an employment
application?
In the blank labeled "Church
Preference" he filled in: Red
brick.
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A blonde walks into an electronics store and points to something behind the clerk."How much is that television set?" she asks."Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," the clerk said.So, the girl walks out. The next day, she returns wearing a brown wig.
Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments

Hey bob,"Will you rember me tomorrow??" "Yes" "Will you rember me next week??" "Yes" "Will you rember me next month??" "Yes" "Will yoiu rember me next year??" "Yeah" "Knock Knock" "Whos There??" "See, you forgot me already!!!!!!"
Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments

Yo mama so ugly when she looked out the window she got arrested.
Category: Yo Mama Jokes - 0 Comments

mccain  going  off  viagra,  takes  viagra  30  minutes  to  a  hour,  takes  palin  only  a few  seconds
Category: Political Jokes - 0 Comments

A vampire bat came flapping in from the night covered in fresh blood and parked himself on the roof of the cave to get some sleep. Pretty soon all the other bats smelled the blood and began hassling him about where he got it. He told them to go away and let him get some sleep but they persisted until finally he gave in.
Category: Animal Jokes - 0 Comments

Everybody I know who has a dog usually calls him "Rover" or "Spot". I call mine Sex. Now, Sex has been very embarrassing to me. When I went to the City Hall to renew the dog's license, I told the clerk that I would like a license for Sex.
Category: Animal Jokes - 0 Comments

An ant and an elephant share a night of romance. The next morning the ant wakes up and the elephant is dead. "Shit!" says the ant. "One night of passion and I will spend the rest of my life digging a grave!"
Category: Animal Jokes - 0 Comments

A dog thinks: Hey, these people I live with feed me, love me, provide me with a nice warm, dry house, pet me, and take good care of me... They must be Gods! A cat thinks: Hey, these people I live with feed me, love me, provide me with a nice warm, dry house, pet me, and take good care of me... I must be a God!
Category: Animal Jokes - 1 Comments

Two rabbits were being chased by a pack of wolves. The wolves chased the rabbits into a thicket. After a few minutes, one rabbit turned to the other and said, "Well, do you want to make a run for it or stay here a few days and outnumber them?"
Category: Animal Jokes - 0 Comments

This horse walks in to a bar and asks for a bit to eat!
Category: Animal Jokes - 0 Comments

A bear is chasing a rabbit through a forest. They find a bottle and decide to rub it. A genie pops out. He says "I will grant each of you three wishes."The bear says "I wish all the bears in the forest were females." *poof* It's done.The rabbit says "I wish for a motorcycle." *poof* It's done.
Category: Animal Jokes - 0 Comments

Q: Does an elephant ever forget?A: Only if you loan him money.
Category: Animal Jokes - 0 Comments

Q: Why don't elephants use cellular phones?A: So the rest of the world won't know their plans.
Category: Animal Jokes - 0 Comments

Q: Why do penguins live in the Arctic?A: Because they can't fly to Florida like the rest of the old birds.
Category: Animal Jokes - 0 Comments

A blind man walks into a store with his seeing eye dog. All of a sudden, he picks up the leash and begins swinging the dog over his head. The manager runs up to the man and asks, "What are you doing?!!" The blind man replies, "Just looking around."
Category: Animal Jokes - 0 Comments

A man goes into a bar with his dog. He goes up to the bar and asks for a drink. The bartender says "You can't bring that dog in here!" The guy, without missing a beat, says "This is my seeing-eye dog." "Oh man, " the bartender says, "I'm sorry, here, the first one's on me." The man takes his drink and goes to a table near the door.
Category: Animal Jokes - 0 Comments

Why did the raccoon cross the road? He didn't, he got hit by a car.
Category: Animal Jokes - 0 Comments