
7 Quickies!
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1) On July 8, 1947, witnesses claim a spaceship with five aliens aboard crashed on a sheep-and-cattle ranch outside Roswell, NM, an incident they say has been covered up by the military. On March 31, 1948, exactly nine months after that day, Al Gore was born. That clears up a lot of things.2) What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?3) I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older, then it dawned on me -- they were cramming for their finals!4) If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the OTHERS here for?5) If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?6) I thought about how mothers feed their babies with little tiny spoons and forks, so I wonder what Chinese mothers use. Toothpicks?7) Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an "s" in it?
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Larry's barn burned down, and Susan, his
wife, called the
insurance
company ...
Susan: We had that
barn insured for fifty thousand and I want my money.
Agent: Whoa there
just a minute, Susan; it doesn't work quite like
that.
We will
ascertain the value of the old barn and provide you with a new
one
of comparable worth.
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wife, called the
insurance
company ...
Susan: We had that
barn insured for fifty thousand and I want my money.
Agent: Whoa there
just a minute, Susan; it doesn't work quite like
that.
We will
ascertain the value of the old barn and provide you with a new
one
of comparable worth.
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Yesterday scientists revealed that beer contains small traces of female hormones.To prove their theory, the scientists fed 100 men 12 pints of beer and observed that 100% of them gained weight, talked excessively without making sense, became emotional, and couldn't drive.No further testing is planned.
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Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments
Gravely ill, the Skipper was examined by a doctor while his wife stood by.After the examination the physician motioned for her to meet him in the hallway. "Your husband is very sick," the doctor said. "Still, you can do three things to ensure his survival.First, fix him three healthy meals a day.
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Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments
What's the best way to get a man to remember
your anniversary?
Get married on his birthday.
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your anniversary?
Get married on his birthday.
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A couple just got married, and when the husband
went back
to his house
he found that his bride had disappeared.
He got very worried and
gathered up all his friends to search for
his wife with no success.
Two days after his wife disappeared the
man returned home to find her
in the kitchen.
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went back
to his house
he found that his bride had disappeared.
He got very worried and
gathered up all his friends to search for
his wife with no success.
Two days after his wife disappeared the
man returned home to find her
in the kitchen.
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|If there are 5 flies in the kitchen how do you know which one is the American Football player?The one in the sugar bowl!
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Category: Kids Jokes - 0 Comments
There
is a new Barbie doll on the
market - House Wife Barbie ...dressed in
ratty, old housecoat; comes
with dirty laundry and sink full of
dishes
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is a new Barbie doll on the
market - House Wife Barbie ...dressed in
ratty, old housecoat; comes
with dirty laundry and sink full of
dishes
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Romeo: Your cheeks are like petals.
Juliet: Really?
Romeo: Yes, bicycle pedals.
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Juliet: Really?
Romeo: Yes, bicycle pedals.
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A Horse walks into a bar: "Hey buddy," says the bartender, "why the long face?"
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