A blind man in a store

Why couldn't the clock be kept in
jail?
Because time was always running out.
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Everybody on earth dies and goes to heaven. God comes and says "I want the men to make two lines. One line for the men that dominated their women on earth and the other line for the men that were whipped by their women. Also, I want all the women to go with St Peter.
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Q: Why do Lawyers smell?A: So the blind can hate them, too!
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After she woke up, a woman told her husband, "I just dreamedthat you gave me a pearl necklace for Valentine's day. Whatdo you think it means?""You'll know tonight." he said.That evening, the man came home with a package and gave it tohis wife. Delighted, she opened it - to find a book entitled"The meaning of dreams"
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A very important event is going to happen on May the 4th. I'm telling you so early because it's so important. I urge each of you to mark that date on your calendars with the letters BU. It's very important that you include the letter B with the letter U; you may miss the importance of the event without it.So go now, and mark your calendars.
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What's worse than being raped by Jack the Ripper?Getting fingered by Captain Hook!
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Why did the girl sit on her
watch?
She
wanted to be on time.
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I never actually grapsed the whole "Trick or treat" ultimatum.Giving candy to grateful, adorable children or receiving a bag of flaming animal excrement on your doorstep-is this a choice?-Jerry Seinfeld
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Why are vampires like false teeth?
They all
come out at night.
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An Ancient Greek man walks into a tailor and holds up a torn tunic. TAYLOR: "Euripides?" (You-rip-e-dees) MAN: "Eumenedes??" (You-men-e-dees)(Say it quickly, it works!)
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