A blond at a party was telling her friend...

What do you get if you cross a cat
with Father
Christmas ?
Santa Claws !
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How did Dr Frankenstein pay the men who built

his monster?
On a piece rate.
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|One day a fisherman was lying on a beautiful beach, with his fishing pole propped up in the sand and his solitary line cast out into the sparkling blue surf. He was enjoying the warmth of the afternoon sun and the prospect of catching a fish.
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|When asked for her occupation, a woman charged with a traffic violation said she was a schoolteacher. The judge rose from the bench. "Madam, I have waited years for a schoolteacher to appear before this court," he smiled with delight. "Now sit down at that table and write 'I will not pass through a red light' five hundred times."
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It seems God noticed Adam was despondent. So the Lord God said, "Adam, come over here and sit down!". And Adam did so."Adam," spoke the Creator, "I see your countenance is fallen and you seem to feel rotten and lonely." Adam said nothing in response.
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A man goes to a doctor and says:"Doctor, it's embarassing, but every time I sneeze, I have an orgasm.""Gee, what are you taking for it?""Snuff."
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How do sheep in Mexico say
Merry
Christmas?
Fleece Navidad!
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You step out of your room and realize that your parents have moved and you don't have a clue as to when it happened. Your bookmark list takes 15 minutes to go from top to bottom. Your nightmares are in HTML and GIFS. You turn off your modem and get this awful empty feeling, like you just pulled the plug on a loved one.
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Your mamma's so fat when she wears a yellow rain coast outside I yell "TAXI!"
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There were two nuns...One of them was known as Sister Mathematical (SM), and the other one was known as Sister Logical (SL).It is getting dark and they are still far away from the convent.SM: Have you noticed that a man has been following us for the past thirty-eight and a half minutes? I wonder what he wants.SL: It's logical. He wants to rape us.
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