A man walks into a doctor's office with a...

Doctor: Your system needs freshening up a bit. I
suggest you take a cold
bath every morning.

Patient: Oh,
but I do, doctor.

Doctor: You do?

Patient: Yes, every
morning I take a nice cold bath and fill it with
nice hot water!
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And then there was the UCLA professor
who
opened up his vest, pulled out his tie and wet his pants.
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Three young candidates for the priesthood are told by the Monsignor they have to pass one more test: The Celibacy Test.The Monsignor leads them into a room, and tells them to undress, and a small bell is tied to each man's penis.In comes a beautiful woman, wearing a sexy belly-dancer costume.
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A Jewish guy called Jacob finds himself in
dire
trouble. His business has gone bust and he's in serious
financial
trouble. He's so desperate that he decides to ask God for help.
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United
Airlines FA: "Ladies and
Gentlemen, as you are all now painfully aware, our
Captain has landed in
Seattle.
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|Q: What did Louis Farrakahn say to Mike Tyson after the fight?A: No stupid an Eye for an Eye!!!! Tyson's psychologist told Mike to take a year off, he obviously misunderstood....good thing he didn't say two!Tyson's favorite football team-the Tampa Bay Buc-an-EARS.
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On Christmas morning a cop on horseback is sitting at a traffic light, and next to him is a kid on his shiny new bike. The cop says to the kid, "Nice bike you got there. Did Santa bring that to you?" The kid says, "Yeah." The cop says, "Well, next year tell Santa to put a tail-light on that bike." The cop then proceeds to issue the kid a $20.
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What is the best form of Birth ControlAnswer: Marriage
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How come if ants are always so busy they always get

time to show up at picnics ?
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Clinton and Gore went to a diner to get a bite to eat.A good looking waitress comes up and asks, "Can I take your order?"Clinton says, "Yes, I like a quickie!"She turns a little read and say, "Sir, in your present state of affairs I don't think you should even be suggesting something like that.
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