A mother was reading a book about animals to her 3 year old daughter...

The teacher came up with a good problem.

"Suppose," she asked the second-graders, "there were a dozen sheep and
six
of them jumped over a fence. How many would be left?"
"None,"
answered little Norman.
"None? Norman, you don't know your
arithmetic."
"Teacher, you don't know your sheep. When one goes, they all

go!"
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How many triage nurses does it take
to
change a light bulb?
One, but the bulb will have to spend four
hours in the waiting
room.
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A blonde had just gotten a new sports car and was out for a drive when she cut off a truck driver. He motioned for her to pull over. When she did, he got out of his truck and pulled a piece of chalk from his pocket. He drew a circle on the road and told the blonde to stand in the circle and not move.
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Things You?d Love to Say at Work!1. And your crybaby whiny-assed opinion would be???..?2. Do I look like a people person?3. This isn?t an office. It?s Hell with fluorescent lighting!4. I started out with nothing and still have most of it left.5. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.6. If I throw a stick, will you leave?7. You!??..
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A man is walking down the street one day when

he notices a very small boy trying to press a doorbell on a house

across the street. However, the boy is very small and the doorbell
is too
high for him to reach. After watching the boy's efforts for
some time,
the man moves closer to the boy's position.
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During a big fire downtown the firemen
were having a bit of
trouble. A woman was stuck on the fourth floor
with her baby. The fire
fighters instructed her to toss the child out
the window, under which they
had placed a net, but the mother
refused.
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Why is it called a Wonder Bra?
When she takes
it off, you wonder where her tits went.
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A police officer attempts to stop a car for
speeding and the
guy gradually increases his speed until he's topping
100 mph. He
eventually realizes he can't escape and finally pulls
over.
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Why aren't you doing very well in
history?
Because the teacher keeps asking about things that happened before I

was born!
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Joe has always had an uncontrollable twitch in hisleft eyelid since young. Fred has a splitting headacheand asks Joe to go get some aspirins. Half an hourlater Joe comes back with a dozen packets of condoms."I asked you to get me aspirins, not condoms.
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