A young girl is with her dad at the barbers...

One day there
were these three boys
walking down
the street, all of a sudden they heard a yell: 'HELP!
HELP!'
When the boys got to the noise they saw Bill
Clinton in a
lake drowning. The three boys saved
him from drowning. Bill Clinton
asks the first
boy how he could ever repay him. The boy said,
'I
want a boat.
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A young teacher was trying to teach her six-year-old charges about sharing. In the midst of doing so, she said that no one had everything they wanted. At this point, a young arm was energetically pumping at the back of the class. She tried to ignore him, but little Johnny started saying, "oh miss, oh miss!" with his arm pumping.
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Why did the girl put her bed in the fireplace?

Because she wanted to sleep like a log.
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|Women are like guns, keep one around long enough and your going to want to shoot it. Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman? Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will never be able to support you. Did you hear they finally made a device that makes cars run 95% quieter? Yeah, it fits right over her mouth.
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Q: Why did the blonde wear condoms on her ears?A: So she wouldn't get Hearing Aids.
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What is the worst thing that can happen to a bat while it sleeps?Diarrhoea!
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What do you call an intelligent man in

America?
A tourist.
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Friend: Vern, are you going to take your wife Alice on your next cruise?Vern: Yes, indeed. I just can't leave her behind alone.
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A man needing a
heart transplant
is told by his doctor that the only heart available is
that of a
sheep. The man finally agrees and the doctor transplants the
sheep
heart into the man. A few days after the operation, the man comes in

for a checkup. The doctor asks him "How are you feeling?" The man

replies "Not BAAAAD!"
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During the wedding rehearsal, the groom approached the pastor with anunusual offer."Look, I'll give you $100 if you'll change the wedding vows. When youget to me and the part where I'm to promise to 'love, honor and obey'and 'forsaking all others, be faithful to her forever,' I'd appreciateit if you'd just leave that part out.
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