Accountant jokes

What has eighteen legs and fetches a ball?
The
Philadelphia Beagles!
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What would happen if you crossed Magilla

Gorilla with a Saint Bernard?
It would drink the brandy it would
carry and act like a big
Gorilla!
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There was a mine in a small town that completely collapsed. One of the engineers who miraculously survived the disaster went into the local watering hole. The bar was empty except for one lonely soul at the other end of the bar."Hey bartender" said the Engineer, "I'll have a beer and pour another one for my friend down at the end there.
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Why do blondes wear earmuffs? To avoid the draft.
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Why does an inspiring sight like a
sunrise always have to
take place at such an inconvenient time?
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MAN: God, my girlfriend is so pretty and has such pretty hair.GOD: I know, I made her that way so you would love her.MAN: God, she has such beautiful blue eyes.GOD: I know I made them for her so you would love her.MAN: There is only one thing wrong with her. She is a little dense.GOD: I know..I made her that way so she could love YOU!
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An old man and his
wife lived deep in the
hills and seldom saw many people.
One day a peddler came by to sell
his goods and asked the man if he or
his wife
wanted to buy
something. "Well, my wife ain't home, she's gone down
to the
creek
to wash clothes, but lemma see what you got," said the man.
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What has big ears, brings Easter treats, and
goes
"hippity-BOOM, hippity-BOOM, hippity-BOOM"?
The Easter
Elephant.
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A blonde, a brunette and a redhead went into a bar and asked the bartender...Brunette: "I'll have a B and C." Bartender:"What is a B and C?". Brunette: "Bourbon and Coke."Redhead: "And, I'll have a G and T." Bartender: "What's a G and T?" Redhead: "Gin and tonic."Blonde: "I'll have a15." Bartender: "What's a 15?" Blonde: "7 and 7"
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The
attention span of a computer is as
long as its electrical cord.
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