After a long pubcrawl...

1. Q. Why do golfers carry two pairs of trousers with them? A. Just in case they get a hole in one.2. Golfer: "Well, I have never played this badly before!" Caddy: "I didn't realize you had played before, sir!"3. Golfer: "My wife says if I don't stop playing golf she's going to leave me!" Caddy: "I'm sure you will miss her terribly, sir!"4.
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The highlight of your family reunion was your sister's nude dancing debut.
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Sung to the tune of "The Beverly Hillbillies"Come and listen to my story 'bout a man named John,A poor ex-marine with little fraction gone,It seems one night after gettin' with the wife,She lopped off his dong with the swipe of a knife.Penis, that is.Clean Cut. Missed his nuts.
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A beautiful, voluptuous woman went to a gynecologist. The doctor took one look at this woman and all his professionalism went out the window. He immediately told her to undress.After she had disrobed the doctor began to stroke her thigh.
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A guy goes in to apply at the U.S. Postal Service for a job.During the interview, the interviewer asks the guy if he is a veteran. The guy says "Yes, I fought over in Vietnam." Then the interviewer asks if the guy has any disabilities.The guy responds, "Well, I stepped on a land mine over there and blew my testicles off.
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A man went to the dentist to get his teeth checked.While he was sitting in the chair being examined, the dentist said to him, "Have you done oral sex lately?"The man replied, "Why yes, I did this morning actually. How could you tell? Have you found a pubic hair stuck in my tooth?"The dentist says, "No, not quite.
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It's
not true that married men live
longer than single men. It only seems
longer.
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Knock Knock
Who's there !
Chin and
Tony !
Chin and Tony who ?
Chin and Tonyk !
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"Hard drive" -- Trying to climb a steep, muddy hill with 3 flat tires and pulling a trailer load of fertilizer."Keyboard" ---- Place to hang your truck keys."Window" ------ Place in the truck to hang your guns."Floppy" ------ When you run out of Polygrip."Modem" ------- How you got rid of your dandelions.
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Accountant after reading nursery rhymes to
his young child:

"No, son. When Little Bo Peep lost her sheep
that wouldn't be tax
deductible, but I like your thinking".
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