Automotive horror

* You recycle your own toilet paper * Your mom has to shave more times a month than your dad * You see a bill board that says "Don't do crack" and it reminds you to pull up your pants. * You stare at a carton of orange juice because it says "concentrate." * Your bumper sticker reads: "One more Whore and We Get Gore.
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A police dog responds to an ad for work with the FBI. "Well," says the personnel director, "You'll have to meet some strict requirements. First, you must type at least 60 words per minute."Sitting down at the typewriter, the dog types out 80 words per minute. "Also," says the director, "You must pass a physical and complete the obstacle course.
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How did the world's tallest monster become
short overnight?
Someone stole all his money.
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Marriage has driven more than one man to sex.Marriage is a ceremony that turns your dreamboat into a barge.Marriage is a mutual relationship if both parties know when to be mute.Marriage is a rest period between romances.Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.Marriage is a trip between Niagra Falls and Reno.
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Imagine you`re in a room with no windows and no doors,how do you get out?Stop imagining!Sent by Cally
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|The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny.Monday, December 7, 1992In September, the Smell & Taste Treatment and Research Foundation reported the development of an odor that makes gamblers bet more.
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What do you get from a forgetful cow?
Milk of
amnesia!
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A
farmer and his pig were driving down the
road when a cop pulled him over.

The cop asked the farmer,
"Didn't you know it is against the law to
ride with a pig in the front
of you truck?"

The farmer replied, "No, I didn't knowed
that."

The cop ask the farmer where he was going and he said, "To
Memphis".
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From David Letterman - Tuesday, January 31, 1995Top Ten Signs You're Not The Sexiest Man Alive10. When people see you, they often ask, "Is it Halloween already?"9. You appear in TV Guide crossword puzzle with the clue, "Siskel and ___"8. The best term to describe you is "super hairy".7.
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A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking around with a fly swatter."What are you doing?" She asked."Hunting Flies" He responded."Oh. Killing any?" She asked."Yep, 3 males, 2 Females," he replied.Intrigued, she asked. "How can you tell?"He responded, "3 were on a beer can, 2 were on the phone."
Category: Relationships - 0 Comments