Bad Santa

Q: How many Germans does it take to screw in a
light bulb?
A: Ve are asking ze qvestions here!
A: Two, one to
give the order that the bulb be changed and one to screw
it in.
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Where is everyone beautiful?
In the dark.
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Yo mama so poor
when I ring the doorbell
she says,"DING!"
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Two bees ran into each other. One asked the other how things were going."Really bad," said the second bee, "the weather has been really wet and damp and there aren't any flowers or pollen, so I can't make any honey"No problem," said the first bee, "Just fly down five blocks and turn left and keep going until you see all the cars.
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Q: What's the difference between a blonde and
an ironing
board?
A: It's difficult to open the legs of an
ironing board.
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|A male driver is pulled over by a cop and the following conversation takes place:Man: What's the problem officer?Cop: You were going at least 75 in a 55 zone.Man: No sir, I was going 65.Wife: Oh Harry. You were going 80.(Man gives his wife a dirty look.)Cop: I'm also going to give you a ticket for your broken tail light.
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Doctor: That deafness cure help your
brother?
Archie: Sure did! He hadn't heard a sound in years, and the
very day
after he took that medicine, he heard from America!
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The Untamed Tiger by Claudia Armoff
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|"First and above all he was a logician. At least thirty-five years of the half-century or so of his existence had been devoted exclusively to proving that two and two always equal four, except in unusual cases, where they equal three or five, as the case may be.
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A blonde gets
an opportunity to fly to a
nearby country. She has never been on an
airplane anywhere and was
very excited and tense. As soon as she boarded
the plane, a
Boeing747, she started jumping in excitement, running over
seat to seat
and starts shouting, "BOEING! BOEING!! BOEING!!!
BO.....
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