Beauty jokes

1. If no one sees you eat it, it has no calories.2. If you drink a diet soda with candy, they cancel each other out.3. When eating with someone else, calories don't count if you both eat the same amount.4. Foods used for medicinal purposes have no calories.
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A language instructor was explaining to her class that French nouns, unlike their English counterparts, are grammatically designated as masculine or feminine.Things like 'chalk' or 'pencil,' she described, would have a gender association although in English these words were neutral.
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Do you remember the Charlie Brown specials that taught valuable life lessons to a generation of kids? Well here are some new episodes:Peanuts specials for kids of the 90's:We learn about VD in:"IT BURNS WHEN I PEE, CHARLIE BROWN"Charlie and the little redheaded girl learn about unwanted pregnancy in:"I'M STARTING TO SHOW, CHARLIE BROWN!"Is Linus
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Yo mama so fat she's got her own
area
code!
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Why did the duck stick his leg into a

computer?
He wanted to have webbed feet.
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Q. Why did the ape run around with a piece

of raw meat on his head?
A. He thought he was a gorilla.
(griller)!
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These are actual newspaper headlines gathered from papers across the country.
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Dancing at the Party by Hans
Neesanboompsadaisy
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3 guys go into a bar. The booze begins to flow pretty heavily in the course of the evening and the guys get split up. Next morning they're all at work discussing what went on after they lost one other...
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A new, young MD doing his residency in OB was quite embarrassed performing female pelvic exams. To cover his embarrassment he had unconsciously formed a habit of whistling softly. The middle-aged lady upon whom he was performing this exam suddenly burst out laughing and further embarrassed him.
Category: Doctor Jokes - 0 Comments