
Biologist jokes
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A biologist had been
working on a remote
research project in the Amazon jungle. Upon his
return to the
States, he came down with a terrible illness. After his health
had
deteriorated, his wife took him to a doctor who specialized in
strange
jungle diseases. The doctor gave him a complete examination and a
series of tests. After receiving the results of the tests, the doctor
called the wife into his office alone. He told the young biologist's
wife, "Your husband is suffering from a very severe disease,
combined
with horrible stress. If you don't do the following, your
husband will
surely die." "Each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast. Be
pleasant,
and make sure he is in a good mood. For lunch make him a
nutritious
meal. For dinner prepare an especially nice meal for
him. Don't burden him
with chores, and generally do anything he asks.
Don't discuss your
problems with him, as it will only make
his stress worse. And most
importantly, make love with your
husband several times a week and satisfy his
every whim. " If you can do
this for the next 10 months or so, I think
your husband will regain
his health completely. Otherwise.......well...
He'll probably
die"
On the way home, the husband asked his wife. "What did the
doctor
say?"
she replied. "Honey.....he says you're probably
going to die."
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An American manufacturer is showing his
machine factory to a potential customer from Albania. At noon, when the
lunch
whistle blows, two thousand men and women immediately stop
work and
leave the building.
"Your workers, they're
escaping!" cries the visitor. "You've got
to stop them.
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machine factory to a potential customer from Albania. At noon, when the
lunch
whistle blows, two thousand men and women immediately stop
work and
leave the building.
"Your workers, they're
escaping!" cries the visitor. "You've got
to stop them.
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The ninety-year-old man was in for
his checkup when the nurse practitioner learned he was about to marry
an
eighteen year old girl. "Now, Mr. Jenkins," the nurse
practitioner
warned, "you should know that when a man your age marries an
eighteen-year-old girl, somebody could get hurt.
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his checkup when the nurse practitioner learned he was about to marry
an
eighteen year old girl. "Now, Mr. Jenkins," the nurse
practitioner
warned, "you should know that when a man your age marries an
eighteen-year-old girl, somebody could get hurt.
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At night court, a man was brought in and set
before the judge.
The judge said, "State your name, occupation, and
the charge."
The defendant said, "I'm Sparks, I'm an electrician,
charged with
battery."
The judge winced and said, "Bailiff! Put
this man in a dry
cell!"
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before the judge.
The judge said, "State your name, occupation, and
the charge."
The defendant said, "I'm Sparks, I'm an electrician,
charged with
battery."
The judge winced and said, "Bailiff! Put
this man in a dry
cell!"
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Mike and Keith are playing golf one hot Sunday afternoon. While approaching the sixteenth hole, they notice an old golfer teeing up by himself. The two friends stop and wait for the older golfer to finish his hole. After the old man drives the ball a considerable distance down the fairway, he collapses on the green.
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One day at the end of class little Johnny's teacher has the class go home and think of a story and then conclude the moral of that story. The following day the teacher asks for the first volunteer to tell their story, little Suzy raises her hand.
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Did you hear
about the monster with five
legs?
His trousers fit him like a glove.
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about the monster with five
legs?
His trousers fit him like a glove.
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Did you hear about the Polish family that froze to death outside atheater?They were waiting to see the movie "Closed for the Winter."
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The flight was coming into Dallas when a combination of mechanical errors and unstable weather caused the plane to start plummeting to the ground! The pilot feverishly worked his controls, and finally, the engines roared back to life in time to prevent the plane from crashing! As the plane landed, airport officials rushed to the disembarking gate
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Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments
What does a short sighted gynecologist and a dog have in common?They both have wet noses!
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Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments


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