Bird jokes

How do witches lose
weight?
They join
weight witches.
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Why were the
flies playing football in
saucer ?
They where playing for the cup !
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What would you get if you crossed a

snowman and a vampire?
Frostbite !
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Two guys
were in a bar,
and they were both watching the television when the news
came on.
It showed a guy on a bridge who was about to jump, obviously

suicidal. "I'll bet you $10 he'll jump," said the first guy. "Bet
you
$10 he won't," said the second guy.
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A little old lady buys a pair of parrots, but cannot identify their sexes. She calls the shop, and the man there advises her to watch them carefully and all would become clear in time.She spends weeks staring at the cage and eventually catches them doing what comes naturally.
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A computer geek goes to prison
for fraud,
they put him in a cell with a 300LB guy,

Having heard what
happens to geeks in prison and being nervous he
figures he had better
introduce himself, He extends his hand and says with a
quivering
voice, Hi my name is John Smith.
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This married couple was on holiday in Pakistan. They were touring around the marketplace looking at the goods and such, when they passed this small sandal shop. From inside they heard a gentleman with a Pakistani accent say, "You, foreigners! Come in. Come into my humble shop." So the married couple walked in.
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A Russian, a Cuban, an American and a Lawyer are in a train. The Russian takes a bottle of the Best Vodka out of his pack, pours some into a glass, drinks it, and says: "In USSR, we have the best vodka of the world, nowhere in the world you can find Vodka as good as the one we produce in Ukrainia.
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A farmer and his brand new bride were

riding home from the chapel in a wagon pulled by a team of horses, when the

older horse stumbled.

The farmer said, "That's
once."

A little further along, the poor old horse stumbled again.

The
farmer said, "That's twice."

After a little, while the poor old
horse stumbled again.
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Q. Do you know why they call it the Wonder Bra? A. When you take it off you wonder where her tits went.
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