Blonde jokes

It had been snowing for
hours when
an announcement came over the intercom: "Will the students
who are
parked on University Drive please move their cars so that we may

being plowing." Twenty minutes later there was another announcement:

"Will the nine hundred students who went to move fourteen cars return

to class."
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One night a torrential downpour soaked South Louisiana. The next morning the resulting floodwaters came up about 6 feet into most of the homes there. Mrs. Boudreaux was sitting on her roof with her neighbor, Mrs. Thibodaux, waiting for help to come. Mrs. Thibodaux noticed a lone baseball cap floating near the house.
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The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for
all male students, so too
the male dormitory to the female
students. Anybody caught breaking this
rule will be fined $20 the first
time. Anybody caught breaking this
rule the second time will be fined
$60. Being caught a third time will
incur a hefty fine of $180.
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A few guppies short of an aquarium. A few inches short of a foot/yard. A few kernels short of an ear. A few kopeks short of a ruble. A few links shy of a chain. A few measures short of a staff. A few open splices. A few peas short of a pod/casserole. A few pickles short of a jar. A few pies short of a holiday.
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After a minor mathematical error on a routine
report, a worker's boss
tried to belittle him in front of his peers.
Angrily she asked, "If
you had 4 apples and I asked for one, how
many would you have left?"
Quickly he replied, "If it was you who
asked, I'd still have 4
apples."
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Q: How many politicians does it take to

change a lightbulb ?
A: Two. One to change it, and another one to
change it back again.
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A man and his son were
shovelling the driveway
after a heavy snowfall when their dog, Lady, wandered
away from
them. Man, fearing the dog might be hit by car, shouted
angrily:
"Lady! Lady! Get over here right now!" The dog charged happily back
over
to them, accompanied by a commuter who had been standing at the
bus
stop.
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What kind of dog sniffs out new flowers ?
A bud
hound !
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What do you do if someone's having a seizure in a bathtub?Throw in a load of laundry.
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Student: "Would it be possible to
install
Arabic language support on those computers?"
Computer Teacher: "In
order to use Arabic language in Windows, you
must install an Arabic
graphic card. So I don't think we could do
that."
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