Blonde jokes

Q: Which positions
does a violist use?
A:
First, third, and emergency.
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A doctor, a civil engineer, and a computer
scientist
were arguing about what was the oldest profession in the
world. The doctor
remarked "Well, in the Bible it says that God
created Eve from a rib
taken from Adam. This clearly required surgery so
I can rightly claim
that mine is the oldest profession in the
world.
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Did you hear that Ellen Degeneres has a new line of sneakers "coming out"?They're called "dykeees". They have a longer than normal tongue and you can get them off with one finger!
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Three guys go into a bar, one in a wheelchair, one is blind and the other appears normal. A couple of minutes later, God walks in to get a beer. He sees the guys and decides to have compassion on them. He touches the blind guy on the forehead, and his sight is restored. He touches the man in the wheelchair and the guy jumps up and walks away.
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Special High Intensity Training - S.H.I.T.MEMORANDUMTO: All EmployeesFROM: Communications ServicesSUBJECT: SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAININGIn order to assure that we continue to produce the highest quality work possible, it will be our policy to keep all employees well-trained though our Special High Intensity Training (S.H.I.T.).
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Q: How does Bill Gates screw in a lightbulb?


A: He doesn't. He declares darkness the industry standard.
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What do you call a blonde that just came out of the closet?The Hide and Seek champion of 1992.
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Q: Why is it good to have a blonde passenger?A: You can park in the handicap zone.
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What word grows smaller when you add two

letters to it?
Add "er" to short and it becomes shorter.
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1. Enter the stall, shower for about 3 minutes, then scream really loudly, exclaiming, "I didn't know I had one of THOSE!"2. Enter the stall, fully clothed. Do not undress and make sure you clothes get all wet & soapy. Complain when leaving the bathroom that your shirt tends to bleed all over.3. Ask Scottie to beam you up.4.
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