Burger jokes

How many pilots does it take to change a
light
bulb?
None, it is done by the automatic pilot.
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Once some boys got together to play poker one night, after about 4 hours of playing, Tim had severe chest pains and suddenly slumped over, one of the gamblers who happened to be a doctor, examined him, and to everybodies shock, poor Tim had died of a heart attack.
Category: Men - 0 Comments

|How do I know that my youth is all spent?Well, my get up and go has got up and went.But in spite of it all I am able to grinwhen I recall where my get up has been.Old age is golden-so I've heard it said-but sometimes I wonder when I get into bed,with my ears in a drawer and my teeth in a cup,my eyes on the table until I wake up.
Category: Elderly Jokes - 0 Comments

A man who smelled like a distillery flopped on a subway seat next to a priest. The man's tie was stained, his face was plastered with red lipstick, and a half empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his torn coat pocket.He opened his newspaper and began reading.
Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments

Camper: There's a leak over my
bunk!
Counselor: Don't complain. It only leaks when it rains.
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A man called to testify at the Revenue Canada, (Canada's IRS) asked his accountant for advice on what to wear. "Wear your shabbiest clothing. Let him think you are a pauper," the accountant replied.Then he asked his lawyer the same question, but got the opposite advice. "Do not let them intimidate you. Wear your most elegant suit and tie.
Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments

A neighbor of mine was bit by a stray rabid dog. I went to see how he was and found him scribbling furiously on a notepad.I told him rabies could be cured and he didn't have to worry about writing a will.He said, "Will, will,... WHAT WILL? I'm making a list of people I'm gonna bite!!"
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Mary was having a tough day and had stretched herself out on the couch to do a bit of what she thought to be well-deserved complaining and self- pitying. She moaned to her mom and brother, "Nobody loves me..
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Q: Did you hear about the
Mexico City
earthquake?
A: It did $100 million worth of improvements.
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|A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "If I show you a really good trick, will you give me a free drink?" The bartender considers it, then agrees. The man reaches into his pocket and pulls out a tiny rat. He reaches into his other pocket and pulls out a tiny piano. The rat stretches, cracks his knuckles, and proceeds to play the blues.
Category: Bar Jokes - 0 Comments