Bus jokes

Speaking of divorce (I was), this woman
petitions the
court for a
divorce on the grounds that her husband
"beats her." The Judge,
wanting every detail asked how often it was he
beat the woman.

"Every damn time your Honor," she sighed, "Every
damn time
!"
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Yo mama so ugly she tried to take a bath the
water jumped
out!
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These are supposedly actual signs that have appeared at various locations. Sign on an asphalt truck: "Let us fill your crack!" Office sign: "Ace exterminating - we kill bugs dead, walk-ins welcome." Sign at a muffler shop: "No muff too tough for us!" Sign on a government issue car: "Fulton county disaster coordinator.
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Q: What does a tornado and a redneck divorce have in common? A: Somebody's gonna lose a trailer!
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What's Christmas called in England
?
Yule Britannia !
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Q. Why do bagpipers leave their cases on their

dashboards?
A. So they can park in handicapped zones.
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I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.There's too much blood in my alcohol system.WANTED: Meaningful overnight relationship.You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.I'm not a complete idiot. Some parts are missing.Jesus paid for our sins... now lets get our money's worth.Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
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A Polak, a black guy, and a white guy were driving through the desert when they suddenly ran out of gas. They all decided to start walking to the nearest town (which they had passed 50 miles back) to get some help.A rancher was sitting on his front porch that evening when he saw the white guy top the horizon and walk toward him.
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Yo mama so fat when she jumps up in the air
she gets
stuck!!!
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There is a new Barbie doll on the market -

Biker Barbie ...complete with leathers and tattoos
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