Bus jokes

An
American touring Spain
stopped at a local restaurant following a day
of sightseeing. While
sipping his sangria, he noticed a sizzling,
scrumptious looking platter
being served at the next table. Not only
did
it look good, the
smell was wonderful.
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The doctor came out of the operating room to talk with the man's wife. "I don't like the looks of your husband," he said. "Neither do I," said the wife, "but he's not home much, and he's great with the kids."
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|A man in a bar sees a friend at a table, drinking by himself. Approaching the friend he comments, "You look terrible. What's the problem?" "My mother died in August," he said, "and left me $25,000." "Gee, that's tough," he replied. "Then in September," the friend continued, "My father died, leaving me $90,000." "Wow.
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Detective: Do you think
I should put on
the cuffs?
Criminal: Why? You look good in short sleeves.
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Bridegroom: "Dear, we've been back from the Caribbean for a month now. We've been in our apartment now for nearly a month. Isn't it time we were alone?"Bride: "But darling, we are alone, aren't we?" Bridegrom: "What I mean is, when can we get your mother out of here?" Bride: "MY mother! I thought she was YOUR mother!!!"
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John and David were both patients in a Mental hospital. One day, John suddenly dived into the deep end of the swimming pool. David jumped inand saved him, and the medical director came to know of his heroic act.He immediately order David to be discharged from the mental hospital ashe is OK.Doctor: We have good news and bad news for you, David.
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How do
you tell the difference
between the staff and the inmates at a
psychiatric hospital?

The
patients get better and leave.
Not everyone of the patients thinks
he is God.
The staff have the keys!
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Slow out of the gate. Smarter than the average bear. Smoke doesn't make it to the top of his chimney. So boring, his dreams have Muzak. So dim, his psychic carries a flashlight. So dumb, blondes tell jokes about him. So dumb, he faxes face up. So dumb, his dog teaches him tricks. So far gone, hard drugs push him closer to normal.
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Eugene d'Albert (noted German composer) was married six times. At an evening reception which he attended with his fifth wife shortly after their wedding, he presented the lady to a friend who said politely, "Congratulations, Herr d'Albert; you have rarely introduced me to so charming a wife.
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Long, but pretty good:On a group of beautiful deserted islands in the middle of nowhere, the following people are suddenly stranded by, as you might expect, a shipwreck: 2 Italian men and 1 Italian woman 2 French men and 1 French woman 2 German men and 1 German woman 2 Greek men and 1 Greek woman 2 English men and 1 English woman 2 Bulgarian men
Category: Ethnic - 0 Comments