Can't do

I just had the doctor remove an ugly growth from my back. It was my mother-in-law.
Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments

A man on a business trip in Mexico decides to take in a bull fight. After the event, he stops in to the little dive next to the venue called "The Matador". As he checks out the menu trying to decide what he wants he sees a waiter bring a dish to another customer. The dish is spaghetti with these two huge meat balls.
Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments

Son to his father as they watch television:

"Dad, tell me again how when you were a kid you had to walk all the
way
across the room to change the channel."
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Two Scotsmen met 25 years after their last get-together. They hugged and slapped each others back and tears formed in their eyes as they renewed their old friendship."Let's have a drink like we did in the old days," the first Scotwinked at his mate."Aye," his mate replied. "And don't forget it's your shout."
Category: Ethnic - 0 Comments

Q: What is the first thing that President
Clinton
says after waking up?
A: "Good morning, Bill."
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What do you call an alien starship that drips

water?
A crying saucer !
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A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced ten husbands. On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle, I'm still a virgin." "What?" said the puzzled groom. "How can that be if you've been married ten times?" "Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative: he kept telling me how great it was going to be.
Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments

Yo mama so fat the last time she saw 90210
was on the
scale!
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A man went to work for a zoo
veterinarian.
"Look in the lion's mouth," the vet told him.
"How do I do that?" he
asked.
"Carefully," replied the vet.
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Penalty for horse theft is death by hanging. It is considered an offense to shower naked. You are not allowed to break more than three dishes per day, or chip the edges of more than four cups and/or saucers. It is illegal to block any traveled wagon road. Women may be fined for falling asleep under a hair dryer, as can the salon owner.
Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments