Cannibal jokes

Dear Father Christmas, could you please

send me some Crocodile shoes!.
Father Christmas: Can't do that one.
He hasn't said what size his
crocodile takes!
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1. If no one sees you eat it, it has no calories.2. If you drink a diet soda with candy, they cancel each other out.3. When eating with someone else, calories don't count if you both eat the same amount.4. Foods used for medicinal purposes have no calories.
Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments

Do buses and trains run on time?
Usually, yes.

No, they don't. Buses run on wheels and trains run on the

tracks.
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A woman was having a medical problem - her husband snoring.So she called the doctor one morning, and asked him if there was anything he could do to relieve her "suffering.""Well, there is one operation I can perform that will cure your husband, but it is really rather expensive.
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How do you stop a dog howling in the
back of a car?
Put him in the front.
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|A man walked in to a Topeka, Kansas Kwik Shop, and asked for all the money in the cash drawer. Apparently, the take was too small, so he tied up the store clerk and worked the counter himself for three hours until police showed up and grabbed him.
Category: Dumb Jokes - 0 Comments

Things NOT to say to a Cop!1. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer.2. Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.3. Aren't you the guy from the Village People?4. Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me! Good job!!5. Excuse me. Is "stick up" hyphenated?6.
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New scientific theoriesHONORABLE MENTION: The quantity of consonants in the Englishlanguage is absolutely constant. If consonants are omitted in onegeographic area, they turn up in another. When a Bostonian "pahks"his "cah", the lost r's migrate southwest, causing a Texan to "warsh"his car and invest in "erl wells."
Category: Science - 0 Comments

Where do baby ghosts go during the
day?
Dayscare centers
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Q: Why didn't the monster make the football team?A: Because he threw like a ghoul!
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