Cannibal jokes

What do you get if you
cross a
skunk and a cartoon penguin?
Pingu-Pong!
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During the wedding rehearsal, the groom approached the pastor with an unusual offer: "Look, I'll give you $100 if you'll change the wedding vows. When you get to the part where I'm supposed to promise to 'love, honor and obey' and 'be faithful to her forever,' I'd appreciate it if you'd just leave that out.
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What do you call a Highlander with four sheep? A pimp
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A three year old walked over to a pregnant lady while waiting with his mother in the doctors office.He inquisitively ask the lady, "Why is your stomach so big?"She replied, "Im having a baby."With big eyes, he asked, "Is the baby in your stomach?"She said, "He sure is.
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What is grey and hairy and lives on a man's face?

A mousetache.
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Remember, an alcoholic & a
drunk are not
the same thing at all.
The alcoholic has to attend
meetings.
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A pheasant was standing in a field chatting to a bull. "I would love to be able to get to the top of yonder tree", sighed the pheasant, "but I haven"t got the energy". Well, why don"t you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull. "They"re packed with nutrients".
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Oprectomy KENMORE HOSPITAL 61 COMMONWEALTH AVE. BOSTON, MA. 02115 DATE:____________NAME:ADDR ESS:Please be advised that your Oprectomy operation is scheduled for_______________, at ___________(a.m.)(p.m.).
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What did the monster say when he saw a
rush
hour train full of passengers?
Oh good! A chew chew
train!
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Two friends were playing golf when one pulled out a cigar. He didn't have a lighter, so he asked his friend if he had one. "I sure do," he replied while he reached into his golf bag and pulled out a 12 inch Bic lighter. "Wow!" said his friend, "Where did you get that monster lighter?" "I got it from my genie.
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