Car Acronyms
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AUDIAccelerates Under Demonic InfluenceAlways Unsafe Designs ImplementedAll Un-informed Drivers InsultedAll Unnecessary Devices Installed BMWBig Money WorksBought My WifeBrutal Money Waster BUICKBig Ugly Indestructable Car Killer CHEVROLETCan Hear Every Valve Rap On Long Extended Trips Cheap, Hardly Efficient, Virtually Runs On Luck Every Time DODGEDumb Old Dirty Gas EaterDrips Oil, Drops Grease Everywhere FORDFix Or Repair DailyFound On Road, DeadFast Only Rolling Downhill GMGeneral Maintenance GMCGarage Man's Companion HONDAHad One Never Did AgainHappy Owners Never Drive Anything else. Hated Old Noisy Damaged AutoHYUNDAIHope You Understand Nothing's Driveable And Inexpensive? MAZDAMost Always Zipping Dangerously Along OLDSMOBILEOld Ladies Driving Slowly Make Others Behind Infuriatingly Late Every day.Overpriced, Leisurely Driven Sedan Made Of Buick's Irregular Leftover Equipment SAABSend Another Automobile Back TOYOTAToo Often Yankees Overprice This Auto VOLVOVery Odd Looking Vehicular Object VWVirtually Worthless
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A husband is at home watching a football game when his wife interrupts, "Honey, could you fix the light in the hallway? It's been flickering for weeks now."He looks at her and says angrily, "Fix the light? Now? Does it look like I have a G.E. logo printed on my forehead? I don't think so.
Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments
Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments
Mr. Baldwin, the biology teacher called on Mary, "Can you tell me the part of the body that, under the right conditions, expands to six times it's normal size, and state the conditions."Mary gasped and said in a huff, "Why, Mr. Baldwin! That is an inappropriate question and my parents are going tohear of it when I get home!"She sat down, red-faced.
Category: School - 0 Comments
Category: School - 0 Comments
What do the female reindeer do when Santa takes the male reindeer out on Christmas Eve?They go into town, and blow a few bucks.
Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments
Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments
Mother:
Let me see your report
son.
Son: Here it is, Mother, but don't show it to Dad. He's been helping
me !
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Let me see your report
son.
Son: Here it is, Mother, but don't show it to Dad. He's been helping
me !
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John & Jessica were on their
way
home from the bar one night and John got pulled over by the
police. The
officer told John that he was stopped because his tail
light was burned
out. John said, "I'm very sorry officer, I didn't
realize it was
out, I'll get it fixed right away.
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way
home from the bar one night and John got pulled over by the
police. The
officer told John that he was stopped because his tail
light was burned
out. John said, "I'm very sorry officer, I didn't
realize it was
out, I'll get it fixed right away.
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The husband was not home at
his usual hour, and the wife was fuming, as the clock ticked later
and
later. Finally, about 3:00 AM she heard a noise at the front
door, and
as she stood at the top of the stairs, there was her
husband, drunk as a
skunk, trying to navigate the stairs.
"Do you
realize what time it is?" she asked.
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his usual hour, and the wife was fuming, as the clock ticked later
and
later. Finally, about 3:00 AM she heard a noise at the front
door, and
as she stood at the top of the stairs, there was her
husband, drunk as a
skunk, trying to navigate the stairs.
"Do you
realize what time it is?" she asked.
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Dad, can I ask you something?Sure! What about?You see, I'm already fourteen and...I think it's just proper that I should own one.And what is this 'one' you're referring to?Could you buy me a neat set of brassieres?No!My nipples are already prominent and it catches attention.Nope!It will be just proper at my age...I said no way...
Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments
Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments
Seymour was a good and pious man, and when he passed away, the Lord himself greeted him at the pearly gates of heaven. "Hungry, Seymour?" the Lord asked."I could eat," said Seymour.The Lord opened a can of tuna, and they shared it.
Category: Religion - 0 Comments
Category: Religion - 0 Comments
A technician received a call from a man
complaining that the
system wouldn't read word processing files from his
old diskettes. After
trouble-shooting for magnets and heat failed
to diagnose the problem,
it was found that the customer labeled the
diskettes then rolled them
into his typewriter to type the
labels.
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complaining that the
system wouldn't read word processing files from his
old diskettes. After
trouble-shooting for magnets and heat failed
to diagnose the problem,
it was found that the customer labeled the
diskettes then rolled them
into his typewriter to type the
labels.
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