Car and train jokes

A Jewish guy in a London hotel calls the operator and asks, in broken English with a heavy Lithuanian-Yiddish accent, for number 266418. A short time later, someone knocks, and when he opens the door he sees2 beautiful and sexy girls who asked him: Have you ordered 2 shikses for one night?
Category: Ethnic - 0 Comments

A man with a bald head and a wooden leg gets invited to a hallowe'en party. He doesn't know what costume to wear to hide his head and his leg so he writes to a fancy dress company to explain the problem.A few days later he receives a parcel with a note. "Dear Sir, please find enclosed a pirates outfit.
Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments

Q: Why was the blondes'
belly button sore
?
A: Because her boyfriend was blonde too.
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Heart Attacks...God's Revenge for Eating His Animal FriendsHow many roads must a man travel down before he admits he is lost?I'm an imbecile and I voteMoney Isn't Everything...
Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments

If your wife comes out of the kitchen to

whine at you,
what have you usually done wrong?

Made her
chain too long.
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1. A NUMBER OF DIFFERENT APPROACHES ARE BEING TRIED- We are still pissing in the wind.2. EXTENSIVE REPORT IS BEING PREPARED ON A FRESH APPROACH TO THE PROBLEM- We just hired three kids fresh out of college.3. CLOSE PROJECT COORDINATION- We know who to blame.4. MAJOR TECHNOLOGICAL BREAKTHROUGH- It works OK, but looks very hi-tech.5.
Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments

When does a horse neigh?
Whinny wants to!
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|For those unfamiliar, Welfare payments are made in the US to individuals and families with income below a level. The following quotations are taken from actual letters received by the Welfare Department in applications for support of receiving payments. I am forwarding my marriage certificate and 6 children.
Category: Dumb Jokes - 0 Comments

Couldn't learn to water ski because she couldn't find a lake with a slope. Got excited because she finished a jigsaw puzzle in 6 months and the box said "2 to 4 years" Couldn't call 911 because there was no 11 on any phone button. When asked what the capital of California was answered "C".
Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments

Mum, does God use the
bathroom?
No, what
a funny question!
Then why did Dad say this morning, 'Oh, God, are
you still in
there?'
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