Car and train jokes

|One night a police officer was staking out a particularly rowdy bar for possible DUI violations. At closing time, he saw a fellow stumble out of the bar, trip on the curb and try his keys on five different cars before he found his. The man sat in the front seat fumbling around with his keys for several minutes.
Category: Police Jokes - 0 Comments

As a sergeant in a parachute regiment I took part in serveral night timeexcersises. Once, I was seated next to a Lieutenant fresh from Jump School. He was quiet sad looked a bit pale so I struck up a conversation."Scared, Lieutenant?", I asked.He replied, "No, just a bit apperhensive.
Category: War - 0 Comments

What's the difference between government bonds and men?Bonds mature.
Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments

Q: What's the difference between a rectal thermometer and an oral thermometer?A: The taste!
Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments

The local bar was so sure that its bartender was the strongest man around that they offered a standing $1,000.00 bet. The bartender would squeeze a lemon until all the juice ran into a glass, and hand the lemon to a patron. Anyone who could squeeze one more drop of juice out would win the money.
Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments

THE FACTS OF LIFEThe 2 most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you. Money can't buy happiness...But it sure makes misery easier to live with. Nothing in the known universe travels faster than a bad check. A truly wise man never plays leapfrog with a unicorn.
Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments

Knock Knock
Who's there !
Bitter
Bianca !
Bitter Bianca who ?
Bitter Bianca next train out of here,
pardner !
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Knock Knock
Who's there !
China
!
China who?
China late, isn't it? !
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Q: What kind of
cats lay around the house? -
A: Car-pets!
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It was George the Mailman's last day on the job after 35 years of carryingthe mail through all kinds of weather to the same neighborhood. When hearrived at the first house on his route he was greeted by the whole familythere, who roundly and soundly congratulated him and sent him on his waywith a tidy gift envelope.
Category: Relationships - 0 Comments