Car and train jokes

|Mariah Carey was one of the first celebrities to comment on the death of the King of Jordan. Mariah told CNN "I'm inconsolable at the present time, I was a very good friend of Jordan, he was probably the greatest basketball player this country has ever seen, we will never see his like again".
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To err is human; but to really mess things up

requires a computer.
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What do you call a man with a double decker bus on
his head
?
The deceased !
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A Jewish lady named Mrs. Rosenberg who many years ago wasstranded late one night at a fashionable resort - one that didnot admit Jews. The desk clerk looked down at his book and said, "Sorry, noroom. The hotel is full." The Jewish lady said, "But yoursign says that you have vacancies.
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Henry Ford dies and goes to heaven. At the gates, an angeltells Ford, "Well, you've been such a good guy and your invention,the assembly line for the automobile, changed the world. As areward, you can hang out with anyone you want to in Heaven."Ford thinks about it and says, "I wanna hang out with God,himself.
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If King Kong went to Hong Kong to play ping

pong and died. What would they put on his coffin ?
A lid !
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An idiotic laborer was told by an

equally idiotic foreman to dig a hole in the road. "And what shall I do

with the earth, sir?" asked the laborer. "Don't be daft, man," he

replied. "Just dig another hole and bury it."
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Why did the
bird join he air force?
He
wanted to be a parrot trooper!
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What happened when the cat ate a ball of wool
?
She had mittens !
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(Q) Why don't blondes use vibrators? (A) Because they are scared they might chip thier teeth!!!Sent by T.L.Glenn
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