Car and train jokes

One day, Adam sat outside the Garden of Eden shortly after eating the apple, and wondered about men and women. So looking up to the heavens he says, "Excuse me GOD, can I ask you a few questions?"GOD replied, "Go on Adam but be quick I have a world to create.
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What's big and ugly and drinks
out of the
wrong side of the glass?
A monster trying to get rid of hiccups.
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A teacher said to her little student Suzy, "Punctuate the following sentence: Fun fun fun worry worry worry."Little Suzy thought for a moment and began her reply, "Let's see. Fun period fun period fun no period worry worry worry!!!"
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Why can't Miss Piggy count to 70? - Because she gets a frog stuck in her throat at 69.
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A guy bought his wife a beautiful diamond ring for Christmas. A friend of his said, "I thought she wanted one of those sporty 4-Wheel drive vehicles." "She did," he replied. "But where in the hell was I gonna finda fake Jeep?"
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|If it's true that girls are inclined to marry men like their fathers, it is understandable why so many mothers cry so much at weddings.
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What do you get when you cross a cow with a
kangaroo?
A kangamoo!
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Q: What's the difference between a mosquito and
a blonde?

A: When you slap a mosquito, it will stop sucking.
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Why does someone who runs marathons make a good

student?
Because education pays off in the long run!
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There are only two things to worry about:Either you are well or you are sick.If you are well, there is nothing to worry about;but if you are sick, there are two things to worry about:either you will get well, or you will die.
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