Car and train jokes

Recently a teacher, a garbage collector, and a lawyer wound up together at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter informed them that in order to get into Heaven, they would each have to answer one question. St. Peter addressed the teacher and asked, "What was the name of the ship that crashed into the iceberg? They just made a movie about it.
Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments

At a dinner party, several of the guests were arguing whether men or women were more trustworthy. "No woman," said one man, scornfully, "can keep a secret." "I don't know about that," huffily answered a woman guest. "I have kept my age a secret since I was twenty-one." "You'll let it out some day," the man insisted.
Category: Women - 0 Comments

Q. How does Bill Gates enter his house?
A.
He uses "windows".
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Guyness QuizTake This Scientific Quiz to Determine Your Guyness Quotient1. Alien beings from a highly advanced society visit the Earth, and you are the first human they encounter.
Category: Men - 0 Comments

Q: What do you get if Bach falls off a horse,

but has the courage to get on again and continue riding?
A: Bach
in the saddle again.
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Sung to the tune of "The Beverly Hillbillies"Come and listen to my story 'bout a man named John,A poor ex-marine with little fraction gone,It seems one night after gettin' with the wife,She lopped off his dong with the swipe of a knife.Penis, that is.Clean Cut. Missed his nuts.
Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments

A blonde comes home from a
day of shopping
and discovers that her house is on fire, so she calls
the fire
department on her cell phone.
"Please state the nature of your
emergency," says the operator.
"Help! My house is on fire!" the blonde
replies.
"Okay, where do you live?"
"In a house you silly billy!" the
blonde replies.
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Teacher: Why are you late, Joseph?
Joseph:
Because of a sign down the road.
Teacher: What does a sign have to do
with your being late?
Joseph: The sign said, "School Ahead, Go
Slow!"
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Two new chemical elements have recently been discovered. Here for the first time is a description of their properties.Element Name: WOMAN Symbol: WO Atomic Weight: (don't even go there!)Physical Properties: Generally round in form. Boils at nothing and may freeze any time. Melts whenever treated properly. Very bitter if not used well.
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Why do waiters prefer
elephants to flies?

Have you ever heard anyone complaining of a elephant in their soup?

.
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