Cat jokes

What is dry on the outside, filled with water
and
blows up buildings ?
A fish tank !
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What did the vampire call his
false teeth?

A new fangled device.
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Two men,
sentenced to die in the electric
chair on the same day were led down to
the room in which they would
meet their maker. The priest had given the
last rites, the formal
speech had been given by the warden, and a final
prayer had been
said among the participants.
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An enterprising mayor of the city of
Granby,
Quebec, a community south of Montreal, established a municipal zoo

that has become a significant tourist attraction. It has also given rise

to many unusual events.
Last September one of the star
attractions, Arnold, an Indonesian ape,
escaped to the dismay of the zoo
director.
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|Shakey went to a psychiatrist. "Doc," he said, "I've got trouble. Every time I get into bed, I think there's somebody under it. I get under the bed, I think there's somebody on top of it. Top, under, top, under. "you gotta help me, I'm going crazy!" "Just put yourself in my hands for two years," said the shrink.
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|It was Paddy and Seamus giving the motorcycle a ride on a brisk autumn day. After a wee bit, Paddy who was sitt'n behind Seamus on the bike began to holler ..."Seamus ... Seamus ... the wind is cutt'n me chest out!" "Well, Paddy my lad," said Seamus, "why don't you take your jacket off and turn it from front to back ...
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Inventions by Blondes...1. The water-proof towel2. Glow in the dark sunglasses3. Solar powered flashlights 4. Submarine screen doors 5. A book on how to read 6. Inflatable dart boards 7. A dictionary index 8. Mechanical Pencil sharpeners 9. Powdered water 10. Pedal-powered wheel chairs 11. Waterproof tea bags 12. Watermelon seed sorter13.
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There are bats hanging of a branch

upside down, all except one. Two bats comment: "What's happened to this

one?
- I don't know, two minutes ago he seemed normal and then
he
fainted.
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Can a hamburger marry a
hot dog?
Only if
they have a very frank relationship!
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An old lady was knitting as she was driving down the highway. A police officer drove alongside her car and yelled, "Pull over!"The lady yelled back, "No - mittens!"
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