Cello jokes

An actor auditioned for a part in a musical comedy many years ago. The director was impressed with the young man's talent. He could dance, he could sing, he had perfect comic timing.The director asked the young man his name."Penis van Lesbian," the man replied proudly."Well," said the director, "we'll have to change that.
Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments

Two car salesmen were sitting at the bar. One complained to the other, "Boy, business sucks. If I don't sell more cars this month, I'm going to lose my fucking arse."Too late he noticed a beautiful blonde sitting two stools away. Immediately, he apologized for his bad language.
Category: Situations - 0 Comments

|Microsoft Trademarks the Trademark Symbol By Vince Sabio HumourNet Communications, Ltd. REDMOND, Wash (UPI) - Software and marketing giant Microsoft Corporation (MSFT) announced today that it has purchased the rights to the well-known "trademark" symbol, formerly denoted as "tm" in most print media.
Category: Computing Jokes - 0 Comments

If athletes get athlete's foot, what do astronauts get? - Mistle toe, of course!
Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments

Four men are golfing one day. The first man steps up to tee and states boastfully "My son is so rich that he bought his lover a house".The second man steps up to tee and says, "Well, MY son is so rich that he bought his lover a new car". The third man steps up and says, "My son is so wealthy that he bought his lover a whole summer home in Miami.
Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments

Tourist: The flies are awfully
thick around here. Don't you ever shoo
them?
Native: No, we just
let them go barefoot.
Category: More Jokes - 0 Comments

What do you get if you cross two snakes with a
magic
spell ?
Addercadabra and abradacobra !
Category: More Jokes - 0 Comments

How many women does it take to change a light bulb?None, they just sit there in the dark and bitch.
Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments

1. Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them and stranding them at strategic locations.2. Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store.3. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute intervals throughout the day. 4. Start playing Calvin ball; see how many people you can get to join in. 5.
Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments

A wealthy man sat in his attorney's office."Do you want the bad news first or the terrible news?"the lawyer asked."Give me the bad news first.""Your wife found a picture worth a half-million dollars.""That's the bad news?" the man asked incredulously."I can't wait to hear the terrible news.""It's of you and your mistress."
Category: Relationships - 0 Comments