Check Him Out

What do you call a snake that is trying to

become a bird ?
A feather boa !sna
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A roving reporter from the BBC was touring a remote part of theScottish Highlands looking for material for a documentary aboutthe way of life there.REPORTER: Hello there, excuse me, I'm from the BBC and I'm gathering material for a documentary about the way of life in the remote parts of the Scottish Highlands.
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Doctor, Doctor I keep thinking I'm a

snake about to shed it's skin
Why don't you go behind the
screen and slip into something more
comfortable then !
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Q: What did the blonde's mom say to her before the blonde's date?A: If you're not in bed by 12, come home.
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The cross eyed judge looked at the three

defendants in the dock and said to the first one, "So how do you
plead?"
"Not guilty" said the second defendant.
"I wasn't talking to you"
the judge replied.
"I never said a word" the third defendant
replied.
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A young lady is in the hospital for an operation.She says, "Doc, how long after my operation will I have to wait until I can have sex again?"He says, "You know, Miss Stukowski, you're the first person who ever asked me that before a tonsillectomy!"
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A motorist ran into a shop.
"Do you
own a black and white cat?" he asked. "No," replied the
manager.
"Oh dear," said the motorist, "I must have run over a
nun."
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An accountant decided to leave his wife one day.He left her a note saying:"Dear Jane, I am 54 years old and I have never done anything wild. So I'm leaving you for an 18 year old blonde model. We'll be staying at the Sheraton."He then packed his things and went there. When he arrived at the Sheraton, there was a message for him from his wife.
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Three guys are debating about which of their
languages is the
most pleasing to the ear.

The Spaniard says,
"Consider the word for 'butterfly'. In Spanish,
it is pronounced
'Mariposa', a beautiful sounding word."

The French man says,
"True, but Papillion, the French word for
butterfly, is even more
beautiful.
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If you throw a great Ape into one of the Great

Lakes, what will it become?
Wet!
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