Chess Enthusiasts

A businessman was confused about a bill he
had received, so
he asked his secretary for some mathematical help.


"If I were to give you $20,000, minus 14%, how much would
you
take off?" he asked her.

The secretary replied, "Everything but
my earrings."
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A man was driving down a quiet country lane when
out
into the road strayed a rooster. Whack! The rooster disappeared
under
the car. A cloud of feathers.

Shaken, the man pulled over at
the farmhouse, rang the door bell. A
farmer appeared.
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|A man went to visit a friend and was amazed to find him playing chess with his dog. He watched the game in astonishment for a while. "I can hardly believe my eyes!" he exclaimed. "That's the smartest dog I've ever seen.""Nah, he's not so smart," the friend replied. "I've beaten him three games out of five."
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These are NOT made up. These are the actual titles of Country Songs...1. Get Your Biscuits In The Oven And Your Buns In Bed2. Get Your Tongue Outta My Mouth 'Cause I'm Kissing You Goodbye3. How Can I Miss You If You Won't Go Away?4. I Can't Get Over You, So Why Don't You Get Under Me?5. I Don't Know Whether To Kill Myself Or Go Bowling6.
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A long time resident of San Francisco is packing allhis stuff into boxes. His roommate comes in & askswhat he's doing. "I'm leaving !" he replies. "They justmade homosexuality legal.""So why leave now ?" queries his roomie. "Gays havebeen part of the scene here for years and years.""Yeah, I know." he replied.
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|The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny.Tokyo, Japan:A bull bound for slaughter gave its handlers the slip Wednesday and escaped into Tokyo's teeming streets.
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Q: Why didn't the monster make the football team?A: Because he threw like a ghoul!
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A door-to-door vacuum salesman goes to the first house in his newterritory. He knocks, a real mean and tough looking lady opens the door, andbefore she has a chance to say anything, he runs inside and dumps cow pattiesall over the carpet.He says, "Lady, if this vacuum cleaner don't do wonders cleaning up thathorseshit, I'll eat every chunk of it.
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How did the man feel when he got a big bill from

the electric company?
He was shocked.
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What's the purpose of a bellybutton?To put your gum in on the way down.
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