Chicken and the Egg

Laws of
Accounting
1. Trial balances
don't
2. Bank reconciliations never do
3. Working Capital does
not
4. Return on Investments never will
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|You Might Be A Lawyer If....You are charging someone for reading these jokes. The shortest sentence you have ever written was more than eighty words long. You have a daughter named Sue and a son named Bill. Your other car is a BMW. When you look in a mirror, you see a lawyer. When your wife says "I love you," you cross-examine her.
Category: Lawyer Jokes - 0 Comments

A Chinese man walks into a bar in America late one night and he seesSteven Spielberg. As he was a great fan of his movies, he rushes over to him, and asks for his autograph. Instead, Spielberg gives him a slap and says, "You Chinese peoplebombed our Pearl Habour, get outta here.
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A New York boy was being led through the swamps ofLouisiana by his cousin. "Is it true that an alligator won'tattack you if you carry a flashlight?"The cousin smirked and replied, "Depends on how fast yacarry the flashlight."
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Which ghost ate too much porridge?

Ghouldilocks.
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They say that the new super computer
knows
everything. A skeptical man came and asked the computer, "Where is

my father?"

The computer bleeped for a short while, and then
came back with "Your
father is fishing in Michigan."

The
skeptical man said triumphantly, "You see? I knew this was
nonsense.
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Mad men are given a test to prove they are
getting
normal their teacher draws a door on the wall and orders them to
go
out.
They tart fighting but one remains sitting and the
teacher goes to him
and asks why he didn't join others and he says
"let them fight they
forgot I have the keys"
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Penalty for horse theft is death by hanging. It is considered an offense to shower naked. You are not allowed to break more than three dishes per day, or chip the edges of more than four cups and/or saucers. It is illegal to block any traveled wagon road. Women may be fined for falling asleep under a hair dryer, as can the salon owner.
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|OCR - Optical Character RecognitionA technology that can take written words and convert them back into computer-readable form, provided they're in the right font, using the correct colors sometimes, at the right point size and pitch, dark enough on the paper, and you're prepared to spend several centuries correcting all the 1's that came out as
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Sir you
haven't touched your
custard.
I'm just waiting for the fly to stop using it as a trampoline
!
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