Children jokes

A widow wrote this epitaph in a Vermont cemetery:Sacred to the memory of my husband John Barnes whodied January 3, 1803. His comely young widow, aged23, has many qualifications of a good wife, andyearns to be comforted.
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Knock, knock! Who's there? George Washington! George Washington who? George Washington who? Didn't you learn anything in history class?
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What kind of drugs are mail carriers not tested for?SPEED!
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How to Get There by Ridya Bike
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One day a man drove by a farm and saw a three-legged pig. The man went up to the farmer and said, "Excuse me sir, but why does that pig only have 3 legs?""Well," said the farmer, "that there pig is very special. One time my wife was cooking something she stepped out of the kitchen and it caught on fire.
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Two men were changing in the locker room after a game of tennis. Onenotices the other one is putting on pair of stockings and suspenders. Hesays "When did you start wearing them?" To which the other man replies"Since my wife found a pair on the back seat of the car."
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Q: Why is it dangerous to let your man's mind

wander?
A: It's too little to be out alone.
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The population of this country is 237 million. 104 million are retired. That leaves 133 million to do the work.There are 85 million in school, which leave 48 million to do the work. Of this there are 29 million employed by the federal government. And since we KNOW they don't do a d***** thing, this leaves 19 million to do the work.
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A friend
of mine just got divorced. He and
his ex-wife split the
house. He got the outside.
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Did you hear about
the two females who were
watching a blonde walk by? The first one said,
"I wonder whether
she's a natural blonde or a bleached blonde."

Her friend said,
"She's a suicide blonde."

The other said, "Suicide blonde?
What's that?"

The friend said, "Dyed by her own hand!"
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