
Children Quotes
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The first half of our life is ruined by our parents and the second half by our children. Clarence Darrow Kids. They're not easy. But there has to be some penalty for sex. Bill Maher To be a successful father there's one absolute rule: when you have a kid, don't look at it for the first two years. Ernest Hemingway The trouble with children is that they're not returnable. Quentin Crisp There are only two things a child will share willingly -- communicable diseases and his mother's age. Benjamin Spock I love children, especially when they cry, for then someone takes them away. Nancy Mitford We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up. Phyllis Diller
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Why do they always lock the bathroom doors at gas stations?Are they afraid someone might clean them!?
Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments
Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments
A boy finished cutting the lawn of a priest...the grass was very thickand long, and it took the boy about 4 hours to cut. He approachedthe Father for payment and the priest paid him $1.00.
Category: Children - 0 Comments
Category: Children - 0 Comments
During the Mexican/American war, an intense long standoff occured along the front. For days and days neither side made any advances. Finally, an American general had a bright idea. He aimed his rifle to the Mexican trenches and yelled "Hey Juan!".....A soldier jumped up and replied "What?" The general shot him dead. This continued for three days.
Category: Ethnic - 0 Comments
Category: Ethnic - 0 Comments
Personnel Director: What would you do
if you broke your arm in two places?
Vanderkron: I wouldn't go
to these places no more!
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if you broke your arm in two places?
Vanderkron: I wouldn't go
to these places no more!
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The teacher asked a Louisiana teenager
to count to
five. The youngster proceeded to count to five on his
fingers.
Then the teacher asked, "Can you count any higher?"
The boy raised his hands over his head and counted to five
again.
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to count to
five. The youngster proceeded to count to five on his
fingers.
Then the teacher asked, "Can you count any higher?"
The boy raised his hands over his head and counted to five
again.
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Q: How many believable,
competent, "just
right for the job" presidential candidates does it
take to change a
lightbulb ?
A: It's going to be a dark 4 years, isn't it?
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competent, "just
right for the job" presidential candidates does it
take to change a
lightbulb ?
A: It's going to be a dark 4 years, isn't it?
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Republicans say "Merry Christmas!"
Democrats say "Happy Holidays!"
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Democrats say "Happy Holidays!"
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An old Jewish couple was sitting around one evening and he says to his wife, "Sarah, we are about to celebrate our 50th wedding anniversary, so tell me, have you ever been unfaithful to me?"She hesitated a while and said, "Yes, 3 times.""Three times!? how did it happen?" he asks.
Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments
Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments
Don't you just hate it when you go to the doctor, and you'resitting on the examination table telling him about yoursymptoms, and with each new one you describe, he backs alittle further away?
Category: Medicine - 0 Comments
Category: Medicine - 0 Comments


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