Christmas flavor
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Three men die in a car accident on Christmas Eve. They all find themselves at the Pearly Gates waiting to enter Heaven. On entering, they are told that they must present something with a flavor in order to get in.The first man searches his pocket, and finds some pine needles from the family's Christmas tree. He is allowed entry to Heaven.The second man offers a bow and some ribbon, from presents that were opened earlier that evening. He too is allowed entry to Heaven.The third man reaches into his pocket and produces a pair of panties.Confused at the man's gesture, St. Peter asks, "How do panties represent Christmas?"The man replies, "Oh, they're Carol's."
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A local business was
looking for office help.
They put a sign in the window, stating the
following: "HELP WANTED.
Must be able to type, must be good with a computer
and must be
bilingual. We are an Equal Opportunity Employer."
A short time
afterwards, a dog trotted up to the window, saw the sign
and went inside.
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looking for office help.
They put a sign in the window, stating the
following: "HELP WANTED.
Must be able to type, must be good with a computer
and must be
bilingual. We are an Equal Opportunity Employer."
A short time
afterwards, a dog trotted up to the window, saw the sign
and went inside.
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Mother: Did you
enjoy the school outing,
dear ?
Jane: Yes, and we're going again tomorrow.
Mother: Really ?
Why's that ?
Jane: To try and find the kids we left behind.
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enjoy the school outing,
dear ?
Jane: Yes, and we're going again tomorrow.
Mother: Really ?
Why's that ?
Jane: To try and find the kids we left behind.
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What happened to Chelsea Clinton's younger brother?Monica swallowed him!
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The cowboy lay sprawled across three entire
seats in the posh Amarillo theatre. When the usher came by and noticed
this he whispered to the cowboy, "Sorry, sir, but you're only
allowed
one seat." The cowboy groaned but didn't budge. The usher
became more
impatient.
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seats in the posh Amarillo theatre. When the usher came by and noticed
this he whispered to the cowboy, "Sorry, sir, but you're only
allowed
one seat." The cowboy groaned but didn't budge. The usher
became more
impatient.
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There was an Irishman, a New Zealand man and an American man standing on the roof of a building, with an awning below them.The American said to the Irishman: "I bet I could jump off this roof, land on the awning and bounce back off." So he jumped off, hit the awning, and was soon back on the roof. "There. Now you try." he said to the Irishman.
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Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments
A doctor, an engineer, and a
fungal taxonomist arrived at The Pearly Gates.
The doctor said how he'd
healed the sick, helped the lame; but he was
a sinner and was sent
to Hell.
The engineer told how he'd built homes for the
homeless, etc.; but he
messed up the environment, so he was sent to
Hell.
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fungal taxonomist arrived at The Pearly Gates.
The doctor said how he'd
healed the sick, helped the lame; but he was
a sinner and was sent
to Hell.
The engineer told how he'd built homes for the
homeless, etc.; but he
messed up the environment, so he was sent to
Hell.
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The patient shook his doctor's hand in gratitude and said:"Since we are the best of friends, I would not want to insultyou by offering payment. But I would like for you to know thatI had mentioned you in my will.
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When He Says - He Really Means ------------ - ---------------- Do you have the time? - to go to bedHello - Let's cut the talk and go have sex.How are you? - in bed, I mean.I'd like a discreet relationship. - I want sex, but I'm married.I'll be out of town for a few days. - I'll be spending time with with the wife.I'm a novelist.
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Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments
Q: How do you picture yourself flying on a
broom? A: By witchful thinking.
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broom? A: By witchful thinking.
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