Christmas jokes

I heard that
if you play the Windows NT
4.0 CD backwards, you'll get a satanic
message. But the most
frightening thing is that if you play it forward, it
installs NT 4.0!
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Q. What does a black boy get for Christmas? A. Your Bike.
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And what's your name?" the
secretary asked
the next new boy. "Butter." "I hope your first
name's not Roland,"
smirked the secretary. "No, ma'am. It's
Brendan."
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What do you get if you cross a

hairdresser with a werewolf?
A monster with an all-over perm.
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If
you try to fail, and succeed,
which have you done?
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A young lady had just visited her doctor and he informed her that she was pregnant. The young lady had been married for ten years and had wanted a baby very badly. As she sat on the bus, on her way home, she felt that she had to share the good news with someone.
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An old couple in an old folks home are having an
affair, nothing much
they just sit watching TV late at night while
the old woman holds the
old mans dick. Then suddenly the old man
ends the affair because of
another woman.
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Here is this guy who really takes care of his body,he lifts weights and jogs five miles every day.One morning he looks into the mirror and admires hisbody. he noticed that he is really sun-tanned all over,except his penis, and he decies to do something about it.
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Would
you like something from my Easter
basket?
"Sure!"
"Here. Have some plastic grass."
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You Know You're Getting Older When...Everything hurts and what doesn't hurt, doesn't work.The gleam in your eyes is from the sun hitting your bifocals.You feel like the night after, and you haven't been anywhere.Your little black book contains only names ending in M.D.You get winded playing chess.Your children begin to look middle aged.
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