Christmas jokes

How do you know when a blonde's been sending e-mail? Envelopes in the disk drive.
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Your mamma's so fat when she wears a yellow rain coast outside I yell "TAXI!"
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How do bank robbers send messages?
By flee
mail!
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|An office technician got a call from a user. The user told the tech that her computer was not working. She described the problem and the tech concluded that the computer needed to be brought in and serviced.He told her to "Unplug the power cord and bring it up here and I will fix it.
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12. Hey, wasn't your daughter a porn queen?11. I'm surprised you stopped me, Dunkin Donuts has a 3 for 1 special!10. If I bend over, will I still get a ticket?9. No, offi, offic, lucifer . . . I'm not as think you are drunk I am. I swear to dog.8. No, I don't know how fast I was going. The little needle stops at 110 mph.7.
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One particular Christmas season a long time ago, Santa was getting ready for his annual trip ... but there were problems everywhere. Four of his elves got sick, and the trainee elves did not produce the toys as fast as the regular ones so Santa was beginning to feel the pressure of being behind schedule.Then Mrs.
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Why did your sister cut a hole in her
new
umbrella ?
Because she wanted to be able to tell when it stopped
raining.
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What do you get when you cross a telephone
with a pair of
pants?
Bell-bottoms!
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Q: Why were blondes created?A: Because sheep can't bring beer from the fridge
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On a golf tour in Ireland, Tiger Woods drives his BMW into a petrol station in a remote part of the Irish countryside.The pump attendant, obviously knows nothing about golf, greets him ina typical Irish manner completely unaware of who the golfing pro is."Top of the mornin' to yer, sir" says the attendant.
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