Christmas jokes

After Christmas break, the teacher asked her small pupils how they spent their holidays.One small boy's reply went like this:We always spent Christmas with Grandpa and Grandma. They used to live here in a big brick house, but Grandpa got retarted and they moved to Arizona.They go to a big building they call a wrecked hall.
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|The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny.The "Environmental Engineering News" published some rather sobering information about punishment for drunk driving convictions in other countries.
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There was a beautiful young blonde who was going to a soda machine and she arrived there just before a business man coming to quench his thirst. She opened her purse and put in 50 cents, studied the machine a little, pushed a Diet Coke selection, and out came a Diet Coke which she placed on a counter by the machine.
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A blind man walks into a drug store with his seeing eye dog.He takes the dogs leash & starts swinging it around & aroundhis head.The druggist says "May I help you?" The blind man replies "No thank you, I'm just lookingaround."
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What is the bank manager's favourite
type
of football ?
Fiver side !
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Top 12 Rejected Public Holidays12 Start of Christmas Season Day 11 False Labor Day 10 Make a Move on Your Secretary Day 9 Hallmark Card Day 8 Bring Your Handgun to Work Day7 Newtsmas6 Deadbeat Father's Day 5 Bad Hair Day4 Put Your Daughter To Work Day3 Doris Day2 St. Hooter's Dayand the Number 1 Rejected Public Holiday... 1 Hash Wednesday
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What do owls sing when it is raining ?
'Too
wet to woo' !
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A baby turtle was standing at the bottom of a large tree and with a deep sigh, started to climb. About an hour later, he reached a very high branch and walked along to the end. He turned and spread all four flippers and launched himself off the branch.
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|NORTH POLE (API) - MICROSOFT announced an agreement with Santa Claus Industries to acquire Christmas at a press conference held via satellite from Santa's summer estate somewhere in the southern hemisphere. In the deal, Microsoft would gain exclusive rights to Christmas, Reindeer, and other unspecified inventions.
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|What did the spider say to the fly?We're getting married do you want to come to the webbing?
Category: Kids Jokes - 0 Comments