Christmas jokes

Knock Knock
Who's there !
Blur
!
Blur who ?
Blur, it's cold and wet out here !
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A man asked his wife, "What would you most like for your birthday?"She said, "I'd love to be ten again."On the morning of her birthday, he got her up bright and early and off they went to a theme park. He put her on every ride in the park, the Death Slide, The Screaming Loop, the Wall of Fear. Everything there was, she had a go.
Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments

Mrs Smith, the biology teacher, was very fond
of fish. She was also
rather deaf, which was great for the children
in her class.
"What Mrs Smith needs," said one of her colleagues,
"is a
herring-aid."
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One day, a blonde and her friend were walking
through the
park. Suddenly, the blonde's friend said, "Oh, look, a
dead birdie!"
The blonde looked up and said, "Where?"
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Whats the definition of a perfect woman ? a) Three feet tall with a round hole for a mouth and a flat head so that you can put a pint of beer on it. b) The sports model has pullback ears and her teeth fold in. c) The economy model fucks all night and at midnight turn into a roastbeef sandwich and a sixpack.
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How to predict weather in Seattle: If you can

see Mt Ranier, it's going to rain. If not, it already is.
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CUSTOMER: Can you make a pig
shake?

WAITER: Tell him the wolf is coming.
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There's this young couple, Louise and Al, they've been married for about a year, and the bride isn't getting any sex. Just about every night hubby comes home, has a shower, gets changed and goes down to the pub. She's getting increasingly rampant as the days go on,but each night she is disappointed.
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What do you say if you meet a toad?
Wart's
new?
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A old snake goes to see
his Doctor.


"Doc, I need something for my eyes...can't see well these days".

The Doc fixes him up with a pair of glasses and tells him to return in

2 weeks.

The snake comes back in 2 weeks and tells the doctor
he's very
depressed.

Doc says, "What's the
problem...
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