Christmas jokes

What's the best way to have your husband remember your anniversary?Get married on his birthday.
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What do you instantly know about a well-dressed man?His wife is good at picking out clothes!
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Which of Santa's reindeers needs to mind
his
manners the most?
"Rude"olph
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Two
guys were out hunting, but they
weren't getting any ducks.
"What do you think the problem is?" one man
asked his companion.
"I dunno," came the reply, "Maybe we aren't
throwing the dog up
high
enough."
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John & Jessica were on their
way
home from the bar one night and John got pulled over by the
police. The
officer told John that he was stopped because his tail
light was burned
out. John said, "I'm very sorry officer, I didn't
realize it was
out, I'll get it fixed right away.
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Little Red Riding Hood is skipping down the road when she sees the Big Bad Wolf crouched down behind a log."My, what big eyes you have, Mr. Wolf," says Little Red Riding Hood.The surprised wolf jumps up and runs away!Further down the road, Little Red Riding Hood sees the wolf again-this time he is crouched behind a tree stump.
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There was this old guy wandering around in a supermarket calling out at intervals -"Crisco? Crisco? CRIS--CO!!!!"Finally a store clerk approached."Sir, the Crisco is on aisle five.""Oh," replied the old guy, "I'm not looking for Crisco, I'm calling my wife.
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What fish is best to have in a boat?
A
Sailfish.
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What's the difference between a duck?One of it's legs is both the same.(just say it to confuse people)
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One day a blonde went to a
sea food
restaurant and saw the tank where they kept the lobsters. She
took pity on
these creatures and hid them in her purse. Later she went
to the
woods to set the poor animals free.
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