Christmas jokes

Two guys get stuck on a desert island.They are soon caught by the nativesand brought to a village and put before the cheif.He says to the firstguy,"As punishment for tresspassing I give you a choice, death or Ru Ru".Notwanting to die he picks Ru Ru.He is then beatenand buggered to unconciousness right in front of his friend.
Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments

Why do dinosaurs climb trees?
There's
nothing else to climb in the jungle.
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|Three retirees, each with a hearing loss, were taking a walk one fine March day.One remarked to the other, "Windy, ain't it?""No," the second man replied, "It's Thursday."And the third man chimed in, "So am I. Let's have a coke."
Category: Elderly Jokes - 0 Comments

A man was sitting at home one evening, when the doorbell rang. When he answered the door, a 6 foot tall cockroach was standing there. The cockroach immediately punched him between the eyes and scampered off.The next evening, the man was sitting at home when the doorbell rang again.When he answered the door, the cockroach was there again.
Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments

A chemist, a shopkeeper and a teacher
were
sentenced to death by firing squad. The chemist was taken from
his cell
and as the soldiers took aim he shouted "Avalanche!" The
soldiers
panicked and in the confusion the chemist escaped. The
shopkeeper was led
out next. As the soldiers took aim he shouted
"Flood!" and escaped.
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Q: How do you get AIDS from a toilet seat? A: If you sit down before the other guy gets off.
Category: Science - 0 Comments

|A client who felt his legal bill was too high asked his lawyer to itemize costs. The statement included this item:"Was walking down the street and saw you on the other side. Walked to the corner to cross at the light, crossed the street and walked quickly to catch up with you. Got close and saw it wasn't you. -$50.00."
Category: Lawyer Jokes - 0 Comments

Once when Mary was young her school had a halloween party for themmary decided to go as a pirate after she had donned her costume shewent into the family room to show her family they were impressed.
Category: Children - 0 Comments

A young priest, who is still unsure of the penance to dole out duringconfession, asks an older priest what he should give a cocksucker."Oh," says the older priest, "give the altar boy a dollar or so, if you feel like it. Personally, I never give them more than fifty cents."
Category: Religion - 0 Comments

How do you open a can of beer?That's not the point - it should be open when she gives it to you!
Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments