Christmas jokes

1. Women love to shop. It is the one area of the world where they feel like they're actually in control.2. Women especially love a bargain. The question of "need" is irrelevant, so don't bother pointing it out. Anything on sale is fair game.3. Women never have anything to wear.
Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments

A lone tourist who is passing through the

suburbs on the way to town by car, unfortunately experiences mechanical

problems with the automobile. The car stalls and the tourist parks
the
car by the side of the road and waits for help.

Not
much later, a farmer happens to pass by with a truck full of farm

animals.
Category: More Jokes - 0 Comments

A guy goes in to apply at the U.S. Postal Service for a job.During the interview, the interviewer asks the guy if he is a veteran. The guy says "Yes, I fought over in Vietnam." Then the interviewer asks if the guy has any disabilities.The guy responds, "Well, I stepped on a land mine over there and blew my testicles off.
Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments

A mother and daughter are sitting down over afternoon tea. The mother wants to show her daughter that she's a hip parent and tries to get her daughter to open up and talk about dating boys and what it's like for her. Mom: So....
Category: ROOT - 0 Comments

A very tall monster with several arms and
legs, all of
different lengths, went into a tailor's shop.
'I'd
like to see a suit that will fit me,' he told the tailor.
'So would
I, sir,' said the tailor. 'So would I.'
Category: More Jokes - 0 Comments

|Why did the elephant paint his toenails red?So he could hide in the cherry tree!What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?Big holes all over Australia!What's the difference between a sick elephant and seven days?One is a weak one and the other one week!What pill would you give to an elephant that can't sleep?Trunkquilizers!Why are
Category: Kids Jokes - 0 Comments

How do you get around fast on the bottom of
the sea?
Skates!
Category: More Jokes - 0 Comments

Hamlet's Cat's SoliloquyTo go outside, and there perchance to stay Or to remain within: that is the question: Whether 'tis better for a cat to suffer The cuffs and buffets of inclement weather That Nature rains on those who roam abroad, Or take a nap upon a scrap of carpet, And so by dozing melt the solid hours That clog the clock's bright gears
Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments

A circus owner walked into a bar to see everyone crowded about a table watching a little show. On the table was an upside down pot and a duck tap dancing on it. The circus owner was so impressed that he offered to buy the duck from its owner. After some wheelin' and dealin' they settled for $10000 for the duck and the pot.
Category: Situations - 0 Comments

The tourist: "Can you tell me why

so many famous Civil War battles were fought on National Park

Sites?"
Category: More Jokes - 0 Comments