Christmas jokes

The water-proof towelGlow in the dark sunglassesSolar powered flashlightsSubmarine screen doorsA book on how to readInflatable dart boardsA dictionary indexPowdered waterPedal powered wheel chairsWater proof tea bagsWatermelon seed sorterZero proof alchoholReusable ice cubesSee through tiolet tissueSkinless bananasDo it yourself roadmapHelicopter
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Aching Joints
by Arthur Itis
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Did you hear about the monster with
one
eye at the back of his head, and one at the front?
He was terribly
moody because he couldn't see eye to eye with
himself.
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Joe has been seeing a psychoanalyst for

four years for treatment of the fear that he had monsters under his

bed. It had been years since he had gotten a good night's sleep.

Furthermore, his progress was very poor, and he knew it. So, one day
he stops
seeing the psychoanalyst and decides to try something
different.
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Detective: How did you
get into
counterfeiting?
Criminal: I answered an ad that said, "Make money at
home."
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What is the difference between a
psychiatrist and a psychologist?
If you say to a psychiatrist "I hate my
mother," he will ask "Why do
you say that?" while a psychologist will
say "Thank you for sharing
that with us."
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|Twas the night before Christmas and throughout the substation,Not a deputy stirred,they were all on vacation. The stockings were hungon the wall with great care,Next to some T-shirtsand old underwear. I was working the night shiftcompiling stats,Answering the phone,and feeding the rat.
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Carpet Fitting
by Walter Wall
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Why did the horseman put a saddle on a large

loaf of bread?
It was a crusty steed!
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What do you say if you meet a toad?
Wart's
new?
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