Christmas jokes

One
day there was a blonde riding a horse.
The horse kept going faster and
faster until the blonde fell off,
with her foot getting stuck in the
stirrup. Hearing her screams for
help, finally a Wal-Mart clerk came over
and turned off the
merry-go-round.
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Three animals were having a hugeargument over who was the best.The first, a hawk, claimed that because of his ability to fly, he could attack anything repeatedly from above, and his prey had hardly a chance.The second,a lion,based his claim on his strength. No animal in the forest dared to challenge him.
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Yo mama's so fat, when she goes to Taco

Bell, they run for the border !!
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Why did the girl take a ruler to bed?
She
wanted to see how long she slept.
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A man
answers the phone and has the
following conversation:
"Yes, mother, I've had a hard day. Gladys has
been most
difficult - I know I ought to be more firm, but it is
hard.
Well, you know how she is.
"Yes, I remember you warned me.
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Q: What's the difference between a catfish and a lawyer?A: Ones a gross dirty slimy scum-sucking bottom-feeder, and ones a fish...
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Teenage Driver: But,
officer, I'm a
college man.
Policeman: Sorry, but ignorance is no excuse.
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Did you hear about the pig who opened a pawn shop?

He called it "Ham Hocks".
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Did you hear about the monster who had twelve
arms and
no legs? He was all fingers and thumbs.
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What did they say about the burger who went
skiing
for the first time?
How the meaty have fallen!
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