Clarinet jokes
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|Q: What's the definition of a nerd?A: Someone who has his or her own alto clarinet.Q: Why do clarinetists leave their cases on the dashboard?A: So they can park in the handicap zones.Q: What do you call a bass-clarinetist with half a brain?A: Gifted.Q: What is the difference between a clarinet and an onion?A: Nobody cries when you chop an clarinet into little pieces.Q: How do know a clarinet player is playing loud?A: You can almost hear them.Q: How do you get a clarinet player to play louder?A: You can't!
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Saint Peter was having a slow day at the Pearly Gates so he took a little stroll. He noticed that the fence between heaven and hell was in need of some repair. So he hollers over the fence to Lucifer.Saint Peter: "This fence needs some repair. I'll see to it that it gets fixed if you will help pay for it.
Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments
Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments
Candy Bar LifeIt was just another day and I was tired of Mr. Goodbar. I saw Miss Hershey standing behind the Powerhouse on the corner of Clark and Fifth Avenue. I whipped out my Million Dollar Bar and whispered "Hey Sweetheart, how'd you like Crunch on My Big Hunk" she replied "Oh Henry, what a Whopper.
Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments
Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments
A man was wandering around a fairground and he happened to see afortune-teller's tent. Thinking it would be good for a laugh, hewent inside and sat down. "Ah....." said the woman as she gazedinto her crystal ball. "I see you are the father of two children.""That's what you think," said the man scornfully. "I'm the fatherof THREE children.
Category: Situations - 0 Comments
Category: Situations - 0 Comments
No flight ever leaves on time unless you are
running
late and need the
delay to make the flight.
If you
are running late for a flight, it will depart from the farthest
gate
within the terminal.
If you arrive very early for a flight, it
inevitably will be delayed.
Flights never leave from Gate #1 at
any terminal in the world.
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running
late and need the
delay to make the flight.
If you
are running late for a flight, it will depart from the farthest
gate
within the terminal.
If you arrive very early for a flight, it
inevitably will be delayed.
Flights never leave from Gate #1 at
any terminal in the world.
Category: More Jokes - 0 Comments
A site foreman had ten very lazy men working for him, so one day he decided to trick them into doing some work for a change."I've got a really easy job today for the laziest one among you," he announced. "Will the laziest man please put his hand up."Nine hands went up."Why didn't you put your hand up?" he asked the tenth man.
Category: At Work - 0 Comments
Category: At Work - 0 Comments
What do men have in common with toilet bowls, aniversaries, andclitorises?They miss them all.
Category: Men - 0 Comments
Category: Men - 0 Comments
What did one chicken say to the other after they
walked through poison ivy ?
"You scratch my beak and I'll
scratch yours !"
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walked through poison ivy ?
"You scratch my beak and I'll
scratch yours !"
Category: More Jokes - 0 Comments
A bored guy sat in the bar and looking to strike up a conversation.He turns to bartender and says, "Hey, about those Democrats in the Congress . ..""STOP pal - I don't allow talk about politics in my bar!" interrupted the bartender.A few minutes later the guy tried again, "People say about the Pope ...
Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments
Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments
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