Clinton jokes

Q. My shift keys have little arrows on them. Does that mean the *real* shift keys are located above them, and these keys are just little signs to point them out?A. Nope, they're the Real McCoy. The little arrows mean "up", as in "look up at the screen". Your keyboard is telling you to learn to touch type and quit staring at your fingers.Q.
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What do you call a dangerous fish who drinks
too much ?
A beer-a-cuda !
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What kind of birds do you usually find locked up
?
Jail-birds !
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At a U.N. meeting the American ambassador turned to the Japanese ambassador and whispered, "When was your last election?" The Japanese ambassador turned bright red and whispered back, "before bleakfast."
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Back in the unhappy days when Czechoslovakia was under Soviet domination, a valiant freedom fighter was wandering through the countryside, trying to evade a Soviet agent, who was in hot pursuit, found himself near an old castle, and went inside for refuge.
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Why didn't the mouse cross the road?It's cord wasn't long enough!
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The first 90% of project takes 90% of the time, the last 10% takes the other 90% of the time.If at first you don't succeed, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it.The more crap you put up with, the more crap you are going to get.Keep your boss's boss off your boss's back.
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How to Hunt Elephants -- Senior Manager StyleSenior managers set broad elephant hunting policy based onthe assumption that elephants are just like field mice, butwith deeper voices. Sent by Alex
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Pay back time for the ladies!1. Don't imagine you can change a man - unless he's in diapers.2. What do you do if your boyfriend walks out? You shut the door.3. If they put a man on the moon - they should be able to put them all up there.4. Never let your man's mind wander - it's too little to be out alone.5. Go for younger men.
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What's the best thing about deadly snakes ?

They've got poisonality !
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