Clinton jokes

A little girl walks into a pet shop and asks in the sweetest little lisp: "Excuthe me, mithter, do you keep wittle wabbits?" And the shopkeeper gets down on his knees, so that he's on her level, and asks: "Do you want a wittle white wabby or a soft and fuwwy bwack wabby or maybe one like that cute wittle bwown wabby over there?" The little girl
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Father Christmas: All right, my good lady,
my face is my ticket.
Box office attendant: Then you'd better watch
out... there's a feller
inside who has the job of punching the
tickets.
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Why did Frosty
the Snowman want a divorce?

Because he thought his wife was a flake.
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Q:
How many Taureans does it take to change
a lightbulb? A: None: Taureans
don't like to change anything.
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Q. What has
seventy-five balls and screws
old ladies?
A. Bingo!
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|The psychology instructor had just finished a lecture on mental health and was giving an oral test.
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Let's face it -- English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple.English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.We take English for granted.
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The Ten Commandments Of Employment

If
it rings, put it on hold.

If it clunks, call the
repairman.

If it whistles, ignore it.

If it's a friend, stop work and
chat.

If it's the boss, look busy.

If it talks, take
notes.

If it's handwritten, type it.

if it's typed, copy
it.

If it's copied, file it.
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An aquarium is just interactive television for cats.Anything on the ground is a cat toy. Anything not there yet, will be.At least dogs do what you tell them to do. Cats take a message and get back to you.Buy a dog a toy and it will play with it for ever. Buy a cat a present and it will play with the wrapper for 10 minutes.
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Which kind of ink do you put in your
computer's printer?
Black, Red or Iced?
Iced Ink?
Well, yes you do,
but I didn't want to mention it.
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