Computer jokes

In a long line of people, one guy suddenly starts massaging the back of the person in front of him, the person turned and asked, what the hell you are doing?"Well," said the guy massaging the back, "you see I'm a chiropractor and I can't help massaging your back, in fact I can't help practicing my art".
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The Diet BREAKFAST 1/2 grapefruit 1 slice whole wheat toast 8 oz glass skim milkLUNCH 4 oz lean broiled chicken breast 1 cup steamed zucchini 1 Oreo cookieMID-AFTERNOON SNACK rest of the package of Oreo cookies 1 quart Rocky Road ice cream 1 jar hot fudgeDINNER 2 loaves
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A Russian, a Cuban, an American and a Lawyer are in a train. The Russian takes a bottle of the Best Vodka out of his pack, pours some into a glass, drinks it, and says: "In USSR, we have the best vodka of the world, nowhere in the world you can find Vodka as good as the one we produce in Ukrainia.
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What has big ears, brings Easter treats, and
goes
"hippity-BOOM, hippity-BOOM, hippity-BOOM"?
The Easter
Elephant.
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Brenda O'Malley is home making dinner as usual, when Tim Finnegan arrives at her door. "Brenda, may I come in?" he asks. "I've somethin' to tell ya.""Of course you can come in. You're always welcome, Tim.But where's my husband?""That's what I'm here to be tellin' ya, Brenda. There was an accident down at the Guinness brewery.
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A Jewish boy was walking with his girlfriend on the grounds of his father's house. His father was a successful doctor, and was carrying out a circumcision in the on-site surgery.As they were walking, they heard a scream and a foreskin flew out of the window and landed at the girl's feet."What's this, "she asked.
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Q: How can you tell if a
cat is
blonde?

A: No matter what height you drop it from it always lands on its

head.
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Waiter, there's a fly in my
soup!
Force
of habit, sir. Our chef used to be a tailor.
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It was a boring Sunday afternoon in the jungle so the Elephants decided to challenge the Ants to a game of soccer.The game was going well with the Elephants beating the Ants ten goals to nil, when the Ants gained possession.
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|What do you call an elephant with a machine gun?Sir!What can an elephant with a machine gun call you?Anything he likes!What do you call an elephant that's small and pink?A failure!What is stronger an elephant or a snail?A snail, because it carries it's house, an elephant just carries its trunk!What do you give an elephant with big feet?Plenty of
Category: Kids Jokes - 0 Comments