Computer jokes

1. Illiterate? Write today for free help.2. Auto Repair Service. Free pick-up and delivery. Try us once, you'll never go anywhere again.3. Our experienced Mom will care for your child. Fenced yard, meals, and smacks included.4. Dog for sale: eats anything and is fond of children.5. Man wanted to work in dynamite factory. Must be willing to travel.
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Why do pigs never recover from illness ?

Because you have to kill them before you cure them !
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The managing partner in an accounting firm

is very annoyed with one of his junior partners and has called him
in
to chastise him.

"How could you possibly advise the client
in the way you did? That was
completely unethical. We are always
conscious of Ethics in this firm.
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Knock Knock
Who's there !
Alison
!
Alison who ?
Alison to my radio in the mornings !
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Q: What do you call it when a blonde gets taken

over by a demon?
A: A vacant posession.
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Tad looked up from the book on ancient history

he was reading and asked his father, "Pop, what's a millennium?"

"Well," he muttered, "I think it's something like a centennial,

only it has more legs!"
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What does a caterpillar do on New Years Day
?
Turns over a new leaf !
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Did you hear someone has invented a

coffin that just covers the head?
It's for people like you who're
dead from the neck up!
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What did the slug say as he slipped

down the window very fast?
How slime flies!
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Q: How can you tell when a blonde is dating?A: By the buckle print on her forehead.
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